“Though the doer of the kind deed forgets, the recipient always remembers”

Nothing has the power of a kind deed in the mind of those who are the beneficiaries of those deeds. Many people can often recall small acts of kindness that helped them during a time of need and believe it made all the difference in their life.

Jean Valjean as Monsieur Madeleine

The plot of numerous fictional stories revolve around the power of kindness. One of my favorites is Victor Hugo’s character of Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. Valjean was thrown into prison for stealing bread to feed his sister’s hungry children. Upon his release, Valjean steals valuable silverware from the house of a Bishop who is sheltering him, but while he is attempting to escape, the police capture him. When the police bring Valjean back to the scene of his crime to return the silverware, the Bishop tells the police that he has given the silverware to Valjean and even goes so far as to give Valjean some silver candlesticks explaining that he forgot to take those as well.  After the police leave the Bishop says to Valjean:

“Forget not, that you have promised me to use this silver to become an honest man…. Jean Valjean, my brother: you belong no longer to evil, but to good. It is your soul that I am buying for you. I withdraw it from dark thoughts and from the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God!”

Out of this encounter, Valjean becomes a repentant, honorable, dignified man. He changes his life and becomes kind to all he encounters, a devoted substitute father to a girl who loses her mother and a benefactor to those in need.

A single act of kindness can be a life changing experience and we all have the power to be kind. I remember reading a story in the newspaper about a middle-class worker who took the $2000 bonus he received at Christmas each year, converted it to twenty $100 bills and then walked about the downtown streets giving the bills to random  people. I’ll bet those people will never forget the day a stranger walked up to them and handed them a $100 bill and I’ll bet that they thought long and hard about how they would spend that $100. I like to think that they used the unexpected money to perform their own acts of kindness.

I had a dear friend who told me a story about a young immigrant worker she had once supervised. When he left his job for a new opportunity, she wrote him a short note of affirmation that listed the qualities of his that she admired and encouraged him to use his talents to achieve his goals. Many years later she ran into him at a coffee shop and she was shocked when he pulled her note out of his wallet. He said he had kept it in his wallet all these years and he took it out at those times in his life when he needed a boost of inspiration and confidence. She had forgotten she had even wrote the note – but it changed his life.

Another example from my own experience was the time my car broke down late at night on a lonely road. I was miles from home and it was before the days of cell phones. Many cars passed me on that night and did not stop, but finally one man did stop and, even though he lived in a different city, he went out of his way to give me a ride home – in fact, right to my doorstep. He refused to accept any thanks or money for his good deed. I did not even know his name, but I often think about him and wonder if I would have done the same.

So, in my life I try to make it a practice to be kind to all those that I encounter, knowing that the effects of my behaviors live on – even though I may forget them.

“So if you see your neighbor carrying something, help him with his load – and don’t go mistaking paradise for that home across the road” – Bob Dylan