Reason without compassion and empathy leads to a moral void

I remember a moment from my past when my oldest daughter was about four years old; I took her and her friend Nicole to their ballet class, and after that to the city library so we could pick out some books.

As I was checking out the books, some young boy apparently had grabbed Nicole by the neck and pushed her out of his way. I turned around and saw the boy leaving with  his mother just as Nicole began to cry. I tried to comfort her the best I could but was not having much success.

I stood up to collect the books that I had left on the counter and when I turned back I noticed that my daughter had come over to hug and console Nicole, saying to her “It’s all right Nicole, we’ll go home and have some lunch now OK – Don’t cry“. Nicole stopped crying immediately and the two small girls walked hand in hand back to the car.

It was a touching and deeply fulfilling moment for me, as it would be for most parents I suppose, the first time you observe a child that you have loved and nurtured, nurture somebody else. Events of that sort, where you are present to witness your child demonstrate the qualities of compassion and empathy for another person, come along rarely in life to reassure parents that they are doing something right and that their children will turn out to be decent human beings.

This memory from 30 years ago popped into my mind this past week as I watched and listened to the sad saga of the immigrant children being forcibly separated from their parents due to sudden changes in the US immigration policy.

How can it be I wondered that a policy that breaks up families – which is contrary to everything in life that we hold sacred and holy – was conceived, ordered into being, approved by the Justice Dept and implemented and enforced by the Immigration authorities?

The first reaction is to brand all those involved with this malevolent policy as evil because it was obvious to the majority of the country that the people who supported this policy lacked empathy and basic compassion – not only for the families who were fleeing poverty and violence, but especially for the innocent children who were being punished through no fault of their own.

Compassion is defined as a feeling of concern for the suffering of others. Psychiatric  studies have found that psychopaths and those suffering from narcissism are often incapable of feeling empathy or compassion for someone else. It would be dangerous and inaccurate, however, to just label anyone who supported this policy as a narcissist or a psychopath. Psychiatrists list these other reasons that can cause people to harden their hearts.

• The emotion of anger can block off a person’s capacity to feel warmth or mercy for those experiencing troubles and difficulties. It is likely that some people lack empathy for the families being split apart simply because they are very angry at immigrants who are trying to enter this country illegally. They could never imagine themselves trying to flee illegally to a different country and their anger at those who would prevents them from putting themselves in the other person’s shoes.
• Some people prefer to remain distant as a sort of protection mechanism. They fear that if they get too close or become too involved in an emotional issue then they will be vulnerable to pain. For these people avoidance is a primary objective and out-of-sight out-of-mind is their philosophy for dealing with life’s difficult events.
• Some have difficulties identifying and relating to others and can only really understand and empathize with things that they have experienced personally. Most people in the United States are not hungry or facing violence, therefore it is difficult for them to show compassion for those who are experiencing such traumas.
• Finally, some people are inclined to fear people that are not like them. They de-humanize immigrants who do not look like them or speak their language and reason that if they are allowed to enter the country they will take away their jobs, harm their families and perform criminal acts.

I suspect that it was a combination of all these factors that resulted in our government leaders and agencies creating and enforcing such a heartless policy. It’s hard to believe there could have been anyone at the table speaking out with compassion and empathy  while these immigration policy decisions were being made.

Karen Armstrong, a British author and former Catholic religious sister used the $100,000 TED prize she won in 2008 to help create a charitable organization called the Charter for Compassion, which urges the peoples of the world to embrace the core value of compassion and identifies shared moral priorities across religious traditions, in order to foster global understanding and a peaceful world.

Armstrong claimed in her TED talk that if reason is not tempered by compassion and empathy it leads men and women into a moral void. That is exactly what appeared to happen in this case. In an effort to achieve their broader immigration policy goals, and to force their opponents to come to the bargaining table, the Trump Administration created a moral disaster by failing to temper their zero tolerance policy with compassion and empathy.

I was heartened to see that the policy was met with outrage across the world and that prominent religious leaders and ethics experts condemned the policy and spoke out against the immorality of separating immigrant children from their parents.

This event should be a life lesson for this administration and for any of us who are involved in making decisions that have the power to cause unnecessary suffering in others. We cannot turn a blind eye to the immoral consequences of our decisions. We must temper our reasoning with empathy and compassion if we wish to overcome selfishness and make decisions that will lead to the creation of just and peaceful communities.