We have a universe within ourselves

“Everybody has a little bit of the sun and moon in them… Everyone is part of a connected cosmic system. Part earth and sea, wind and fire, with some salt and dust swimming in them”

Suzy Kassem

Mankind has always possessed a deep curiosity about the ultimate existential questions of life: how is it that the world came to be and what forces in it led to my creation? Our ancestors, lacking scientific knowledge, made up supernatural creation stories to help them answer these questions and to explain the natural world that their limited human senses observed all around them.

Those of us living today are fortunate because we are on the threshold of becoming the 1st generation to ever know in great detail, and with some confidence, the answers to those great questions. In the past decade the results of several major observational studies have brought a level of clarity and coherence to our understanding of the universe that we have never had before.

The pace of recent cosmological discoveries has been truly breathtaking; especially considering that it was less than 500 years ago when man first learned that the earth revolved around the sun and less than 100 years ago when astronomer Edwin Hubble proved that the universe actually contained more than 1 galaxy.

Thanks to images taken by the Hubble Telescope over the last 30 years; and the first astonishing images produced by the recently launched James Webb Telescope – which sits a million miles away in space – astronomers now have the capability of looking back to the beginning of time – to see the actual birth of galaxies.

The Webb Telescope is 100 times more powerful than the Hubble, with six times more light collecting capability, enabling it to see objects in much finer detail. The increased clarity of the new images have led astronomers to increase their estimates of the number of galaxies in our universe from 200 billion to 2 trillion!

James Webb photo of galactic cluster SMACS 0723, the deepest infrared image of the distant Universe ever produced. The image covers a patch of sky approximately the size of a grain of sand held at arm’s length by someone on the ground. It reveals thousands of galaxies, some of which are as far away as 13.1 billion light years. The bluer galaxies are more mature ones, containing many stars and little dust. The redder galaxies contain more dust, from which stars are still forming. Courtesy of NASA.

What really sets the Webb Telescope apart is its ability to focus on the infrared portion of the light spectrum. Most telescopes are designed to see only the small sliver of visible light emitted by stars. The problem with the visible light spectrum is that it gets blocked by the abundant amount of dust and gas that is floating around the universe.

Infrared light is invisible to the human eye but makes up much of the light that comes our way from the universe. The infrared spectrum of light can see past all that dust and gas, which allows astronomers to look with unprecedented detail at some of the earliest and faintest celestial objects in the universe, ones that were born over 13 billion years ago.

Another incredible capability of the space telescope is its ability to detect exoplanets. An exoplanet is simply a planet that orbits a star outside our solar system. Exoplanets have been historically difficult to find because they are very far away, do not emit any light, and are typically much smaller than the stars they orbit.

But astronomers have discovered innovative indirect methods to detect these exoplanets by measuring the dimming of the light of a star that occurs as a planet passes in front of it or by monitoring the spectrum of a star for the tell-tale signs of a planet’s gravity pulling on it and causing its light to subtly Doppler shift.

Using these planet detection methods, astronomers have estimated that about 1 in 5 “sun-like” stars in the Milky Way Galaxy have an earth-sized planet located within its habitable zone. This would calculate to more than 11 billion potentially habitable Earth-sized planets in our own galaxy to discover!

Incredible as it may seem, Astronomers can detect not only the presence of an exoplanet, they can also employ powerful scientific instruments on the telescope, called spectrographs, to identify the unique signatures of specific molecules in their atmosphere.

When an exoplanet passes in front of its host star, a small fraction of the stellar light passes through the exoplanetary atmosphere, where different molecules absorb light of some wavelengths while light of other wavelengths can pass through unhindered. By measuring the fraction of stellar light able to penetrate the atmosphere at different wavelengths, the chemical composition of the atmosphere can be determined.

Turning the intensity of light measured at different wavelengths into graphical signatures allows scientists to measure the chemistry in the atmosphere of distant planets and detect the presence of water or methane molecules which, if found, could provide evidence that there is – or once was – life on the planet.

I had a passing interest in star gazing when I was a boy. I would set up my cheap telescope in my back yard and focus on different celestial objects, not really knowing what I was looking at. My interest in astronomy faded over time as I became busy with the business of life. After my retirement, however, I decided to pick up my old hobby by signing up for one of the science classes produced by the Great Courses called Cosmology: The History and Nature of our Universe. The course re-kindled my interest in the cosmos and stoked my imagination about the wonders of the universe.

Here are just a few of the the things the course covered that seem incredible to me and filled me with wonder:

We can travel back in time…

Even though Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity tells us that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light, the universe is so vast it still takes light from distant galaxies a long time to reach the earth. By observing light that originated far away we are travelling back in time to see how the Universe looked when it was younger (we can’t know for sure what distant objects in the universe look like today because their light is not yet observable to us).

Light travels at a speed of 186,282 miles per second, which equates to 5.88 trillion miles per year – which scientists define as the distance light travels in 1 light year. Light from any celestial object that is more than 5.88 trillion miles away from the earth takes more than 1 earth year to reach us. Earth’s average distance from our sun is 93 million miles, so its light only takes about 8.3 minutes to reach us.

The telescopes we have today are powerful enough to observe the first light that came from the hot glowing gas of the Big Bang itself, that moment in time approximately 14 billion years ago, when astronomers believe that our universe came into being.

The brilliant light from this hot gas is observable to scientists via what is called the cosmic microwave background and it shows astronomers a view of the Universe approximately 400,000 years after the Big Bang. Immediately after the Big Bang, the Universe was so hot that the gas was foggy and impenetrable, but as time passed expansion cooled the Universe, and after 400,000 years the temperature dropped enough for the fog to clear and for atoms to form.

So, looking outward (and back in time), our vision is limited by this bright, glowing wall of fog. As the light crosses the expanding Universe, its waves are stretched 1000-fold and arrive as microwaves. So the microwave background reveals the universe in its “pre-embryonic” state right after the Big Bang!

The Laws of the Universe are constant…

Einstein once famously said “The most incomprehensible thing about the Universe is that it is comprehensible.” How is it possible that humans could have developed the mental capacity to understand such a vast and utterly remote cosmic realm? How can something that emerged out of the atoms and evolutionary forces of Nature come to comprehend itself?

The answer is that we all are, in a sense, children of Nature. Much of the character of the universe is all around us here on earth. We’ve evolved in an astronomical setting that is itself beholden to the same laws of physics that span all of space and time. The laws of physics are the same everywhere, and there is much that is cosmic even here on Earth. For example, humans have evolved within Newtonian space and time, which is identical to 99% of cosmic space and time, and this has resulted in our ability to comprehend things like location, distance, size, light and speed.

As far as we know all objects in the universe obey the same universal laws of nature (gravity, motion, thermodynamics, electricity, energy). Because we have studied these topics here on earth for centuries, we can apply our understanding of these laws to everything we observe in the universe.

The nature of matter is constant…

Not only are the laws of physics the same throughout the universe, so is the nature of matter. As far as we know the atomic elements that make up all the matter on earth exists everywhere throughout the universe.

Us, and everything around us, are made of atoms. Atoms are incredibly tiny and numerous. There are about 100 kinds of atoms that we have discovered, each making a particular chemical element, such as hydrogen, carbon, gold, or uranium. The elements are ordered in a periodic table so that elements with similar chemical properties line up in columns.

The Thermonuclear fusion occurring inside stars causes them to become “atom factories.” The huge weight of a star makes a hot, dense core like a furnace: The star burns lightweight fuels into heavier ones. This fusion burning releases energy, which heats the core further and keeps the reactions going. Heat also moves up to the surface, which glows brightly. In the core, the ash from one reaction becomes the fuel for another.

For example, hydrogen burns to helium, which then burns to carbon, and so on. Reactions further down the sequence need ever-higher temperature, because nuclei with more protons repel more strongly. Ultimately, how far along this sequence a star gets depends on its mass; stars of higher mass
can make heavier elements.

How do these freshly made nuclei get out of the star’s core and into the matter that makes up our universe? The remarkable journey starts when the nuclei are brought to the surface in huge, hot currents of gas. On their way up, at lower temperature, the nuclei acquire their quota of electrons and become atoms. These atoms are finally ejected into space when the fuel runs out, the nuclear reactions cease and the star dies.

We are made of star stuff…

When the astronomer Carl Sagan said his famous line that each of us are made of star stuff, he was reminding people that much of the matter of our bodies was created within the stars long ago. He wanted people to know we are marvelous and our story is, too.

Modern cosmology doesn’t just deal with huge things like stars and galaxies; it must also consider the creation of atoms and the planets and people that atoms make. It is a story that takes us from the hearts of atoms to the hearts of stars, and out into the galaxy to watch the birth and death of stars and planets.

It is complemented by the the billion-year mechanism that slowly coaxes these tiny atoms into assembling plants and animals and people – and even the brain reading this sentence. We are no less a part of the Universe than any star or galaxy.

The atoms in you and me probably drifted around in the interstellar medium for 1 or 2 billion years before joining a denser cloud. Within such clouds, small pockets collapse to form stars, and around these stars, disks of dust and gas, which in turn form planets.

In the case of the Earth, some atoms ended up in a spherical ball, with a barren, cratered surface heaving with volcanism. During the next 4.5 billion years, an extraordinary transformation took place, enabled by atoms’ amazing ability to stick together and form molecules which can combine in complex ways.

It’s easy to feel small and insignificant when you consider the vastness of the universe and the timescale of celestial events, especially in comparison with our meager human lifespan. We become awestruck while looking at telescopic images and realizing that a single picture representing one minuscule sliver of the universe is filled with thousands of galaxies, each with billions or trillions of star systems and each of those with its own planets.

Deep field images like those produced by the Webb telescope show us spectacular moments frozen in time. We can see galaxies wrap around one another, colliding and tearing their dusty, star-riddled arms apart in a violent ballet. It’s no wonder that people all over the world stare in wonder at the majesty of it all.

Space exploration is one of the few things that our divided society can agree is overwhelmingly positive. It reminds us of our inherent connection with the universe, but it can also lead to feelings of a profound sense of insignificance – showing us, on a grand scale, just how small we are.

However, despite the vastness of the Universe and our small place in it, we should not feel insignificant. A diagram plotting mass versus complexity would show that living things are enormously more complex than astronomical objects. If objects shone with a brightness in proportion to their complexity, then galaxies would be dim light bulbs, while our brain alone would be a beacon of light visible across the whole Universe!

When you think about it that way, we are very special – and we should be grateful to the stars above that we are one of the most complex things the universe has ever made!

“We are survival machines… blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules known as genes”

The picture of human nature painted by Princeton Professor and science journalist Robert Wright in his book “The Moral Animal: Why we are the Way We Are – the New Science of Evolutionary Psychology” is not a very flattering one.

According to Wright, the human animal spends its life desperately seeking status because we crave social esteem and the feel-good biological chemicals that flood our bodies when we impress people.

Though we claim to be independent thinkers who hold fast to our moral values no matter what the consequences, the reality is that we become self-promoters and social climbers when it serves our interest.

What generosity and affection we bestow on others has a narrow underlying purpose, aimed at the people who either share our genes or who can help us package our genes for shipment to the next generation.

We forge relationships and do good deeds for people who are likely to return our favors. We overlook the flaws of our friends and magnify the flaws of our friend’s enemies. We especially value the affection of high status people and judge them more leniently than strangers. Fondness for our friends tends to wane when their status slips, or if it fails to rise as much of our own and we justify this by thinking “He and I don’t have as much in common as we used to“.

Wright says that we do all these things, mostly unconsciously, because of the evolutionary roots of human behavior that have been passed down throughout the 2 million year evolution of the human species – these behaviors are programmed into our genetic molecules.

The book explores many aspects of everyday life while looking through the lens of evolutionary biology. It borrows extensively from Charles Darwin’s better-known publications (including On the Origin of Species) to provide evolutionary explanations for the behaviors that drive human social dynamics.

Below are just a sample of the provocative questions Wright tackles in his book:

Why are humans more monogamous than other animals?

The birth cycle of the human species, unlike most animals, takes a long time. Human mothers carry their babies for 9 months and their children require years of caring and development before they are capable of living independently.

Due to the long birth cycle, women only have a limited number of chances to pass on their genes to the next generation (about a dozen or so during their lifetime). Men, on the other hand, have unlimited chances to pass on their genes given enough supply of women.

From a male evolutionary point of view it makes sense that their genetic drive would be to have sex with as many females as possible. However, this is not in the best interest of the female. To increase the chances of survival, and the well being of her children, it was in the female’s best interest to select male partners who were high in a genetic trait that Wright calls “Male Parental Investment“. Men with high parental investment traits have loyalty characteristics that make them more likely to invest in a monogamous relationship with a single woman and their children.

Men who women perceived were more likely to stick around after their baby was born became more appealing to women and therefore more likely to successfully mate with them. As a result of this preference by females, the trait for high male parental investment evolved over time to become more genetically prominent in men across thousands of generations.

Why is a wife’s infidelity more likely to break up a marriage than a husband’s?

Jealousy is a natural emotion for human beings, but a 1982 experiment which asked participants to picture their partner either having sex with another person or forming a close emotional bond surprisingly showed that men and women experience jealousy very differently.

For the men, picturing their mate having sex with another person led to feelings of intense rage and anger while the idea of their mate being close friends with another male didn’t bother them as much. Women, on the other hand, showed the opposite reaction. They were much more distressed with the idea of their partner forming an emotional attachment with another woman than they were with the idea of one-time sexual infidelity. 

Wright attributes both of these responses to a natural built-in evolutionary reflex of the human species. It is the male’s unconscious desire to propagate their genes that drives their sexual jealousy. Picturing their partner in a sexual act with another man was enraging to them because of the possibility that another man could impregnate their partner, potentially resulting in them rearing a child that had another man’s DNA.

For females, it is not so much the thought of their mate having sex with another female that is upsetting to them; it is the danger that her mate will form an emotional bond with another woman and it will lead to him withholding some of the resources that her man provides to her and her children (so that he can share them with the new woman).

What makes a family prefer some children over others?

Wright claims that evolution has a role in influencing which child and specifically, which gender children the family prefers. Evolutionary psychologists explain that parents will tend to favor the child/gender that has the greater potential to carry on their family’s genes.

This ability to pass on genes historically differed based on what social class the family came from. In a poor family of low status, it was usually the girl who had a greater chance to marry “up” into a family that was wealthier. In wealthier families, it was the boys who were favorites to spread their family’s genes because of their power to find any woman or even multiple partners.

In a study of medieval Europe and nineteenth-century Asia, anthropologist Mildred Dickeman reported that killing females before their first birthday, was much more common among rich, aristocratic families than it was among poor and low-class families. And rich families much more frequently gave inheritances to their eldest son rather than their eldest daughter.

This evolutionary influence still carries on today. A 1986 research study of the island families in Micronesia found that low-status families spent more time with their daughters while higher status families spent much more time with their sons.

Why do humans have morals?

Why is it that humans seem to exhibit a higher sense of morals than other species? Is it because we are conditioned to do what’s right from a very young age, or is it something we are born with? If you ask an evolutionary psychologist, they’ll say that humans behave in a moral way simply because it helps us to fulfill unconscious Darwinian urges for the survival and propagation of our species. 

Our moral behavior is an evolutionary instinct from our past that helps us to survive while enhancing our image. In essence, doing good things for other people is to our advantage because it establishes a debt in our favor that we can cash in at a later date when we need help. For example, if you give food to someone who is desperately hungry, they are much more likely to assist you in the future when you need help to survive.

Wright refers to this concept as “reciprocal altruism“. Our altruism is not selfless. We will readily do good things for other people when it will improve our image and standing in the community or raise our overall social status.

On the other hand, we are not so quick to help others when doing good for others carries no benefit to us. It is clear that human moral sentiments are used with brutal flexibility, switched on and off in keeping with our self-interest.

Evolutionary Psychologists conclude that there is scientific evidence that what we do can be explained by the evolution of our species and the unconscious urges we have to pass on our genes. Altruism, compassion, empathy, love, conscience, the sense of justice — all of these things, the things that hold society together, the things that allow our species to think so highly of itself, can be shown to have a firm genetic basis.

That’s the good news. “Given that self-interest was the overriding criterion of our design, we are a reasonably considerate group of organisms”, says Wright. The bad news is that, although these things are in some ways blessings for humanity as a whole, we need to keep in mind that they didn’t evolve for the “good of the species” and aren’t reliably employed to that end.

Although I found this book thought provoking and many of its insights fascinating, I still like to believe that we are more than just animals doing things instinctually or robots running a program that was downloaded into us. I believe we are all endowed with a spirit that makes it possible for us to rise above our nature and resist the urges of what Biologist Richard Dawkins calls our “selfish genes”.

In the movie “The African Queen“, there is a scene where Humphrey Bogart claims that he can’t change his bad behaviors because “it is only nature”; but Katherine Hepburn responds smartly to the captain’s statement by saying: “Nature, Mr Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.”

May you experience all the benefits and wonder of our miraculous genetic past, but also have the strength of spirit you need to overcome our built-in selfish instincts and motives. If you can do this you will become more than human!

There is no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing

Humans have reached a point in their evolution where they can use technology to manufacture artificial climate silos in their homes, cars, and workplaces that insulate them from the effects of uncomfortable weather conditions. Even on the field of play, athletes labor under precisely controlled environmental conditions designed to prevent their performances from being disrupted by wild card weather elements.

This capability to create our own ideal environment is a relatively new phenomenon. It was only 250 years ago when the first efficient wood stoves were invented and only 100 years ago in the 1920’s when cars started to be mass produced. My mother who is 93 grew up in a house that had no indoor plumbing or home heating (except for the kitchen stove). The first new car I bought in 1982 did not come with air conditioning.

Back then, weather conditions were a big deal because you couldn’t avoid them. It was not really possible to separate life’s activities from the daily whims of Mother Nature. By necessity, people were exposed to the elements every day and had to learn to adjust their lives according to the ever-changing weather conditions.

They never knew what surprise weather conditions they would have to face when they woke up and would have been astonished at the advances in the meteorological sciences which gives us the capability to predict future weather events.

Today, we take it for granted that we can get accurate weekly, daily and hourly weather forecasts for any location in the world; but the value of this foresight is diminished by the fact that most people don’t even bother to check weather forecasts any more because our technology can overcome the weather. The outside weather now has very little impact on our life.

I was not sheltered from the weather when I was growing up. I had a paper route that required me to get up before sunrise to deliver newspapers to the homes in my neighborhood. Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall under hot, cold, rain or snowy conditions I delivered those papers. I walked to school on the other side of town in all kinds of weather conditions. I camped out with my friends in their backyards, at the city playground, and at the town cemetery. I spent many hours out in nature fishing, hiking and trapping with my father and brothers.

It is a shame, I think, that most people try to avoid having any direct exposure to the elements. I think the avoidance of what many people refer to as “bad weather” has taken some of the fun, excitement and wonder out of living. Some of the most memorable moments in my life have occurred when I stepped outside to embrace the elements head on.

Moments such as:

• Laughing while running with my children through the puddles on my street in my bare feet and shorts during a rain storm that broke up a prolonged heat wave.
• Paddling down a frosty river in an aluminum canoe during a cold and windy November afternoon to help my older brother check his trapline – my hands and feet numb from the 10 below zero wind chill.
• Walking home from a card game at a friend’s house during the great Blizzard of 1978 and losing my sense of direction in the whiteout conditions.
• Riding around with my Dad in a DPW snow plow, cleaning up the streets of the city after a big snow storm.
• Fly Fishing in the middle of a rain storm, catching one trout after another, only stopping when a bolt of lightning suddenly came down out of the sky and struck a tree on the other side of the river, setting it on fire.
• Walking home from my job late at night in the middle of a light snow flurry and being mesmerized by the big snowflakes doing a dance as they floated slowly down illuminated by the parking lot flood lights.
• Listening to the rain fall on the roof of my tent while camping – the repetitive sounds of the rain drops lulling me to sleep.
• Playing soccer with my colleagues after work during the steaming dog days of summer and drenching ourselves with water (and cold beer) to cool down.
• Standing in the face of gale force winds at the top of Mount Monadnock while doing some Fall hiking – the temperature 50 degrees cooler at the top than it was at the base of the mountain.

Sure, I was wet and cold or uncomfortable from the sun, heat and wind during many of these moments; but that is what made the moments even more memorable to me. We become so used to our creature comforts and living within such a narrow range of climate conditions, that it becomes remarkable to us when we choose to step outside and expose our bodies and our senses to something new and different.

I’m glad that I was taught not to fear bad weather, otherwise I never would have gathered first hand experience of the fury and majesty of our remarkable planet. I am in agreement with Alfred Wainwright who once wrote “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing”.

Wainwright was an author, illustrator and naturist who devised the popular Coast to Coast walk in England.  A shy and unhappy kid, Alfred hated to be inside. To escape, he began walking up to 20 miles at a time; and creating detailed maps and drawings of his local area and all the places he visited in England.

Wainwright believed that the precious moments of life are rare and to be treasured:

“The precious moments of life are too rare…we should hoard them as a miser hoards his gold, and bring them to light and rejoice over them often. We should all of us have a treasury of happy memories to sustain us …to be stars shining through the darkness.”

He also believed that direct exposure to nature in all its forms was one of the the surest pathways to create happy memories:

“Oh, how can I put into words the joys of a walk over country such as this; the scenes that delight the eyes, the blessed peace of mind, the sheer exuberance which fills your soul as you tread the firm turf? This is something to be lived, not read about. On these breezy heights, a transformation is wondrously wrought within you. Your thoughts are simple, in tune with your surroundings; the complicated problems you brought with you from the town are smoothed away. Up here, you are near to your Creator; you are conscious of the infinite; you gain new perspectives; thoughts run in new strange channels; there are stirrings in your soul which are quite beyond the power of my pen to describe. Something happens to you in the silent places which never could in the towns, and it is a good thing to sit awhile in a quiet spot and meditate. The hills have a power to soothe and heal which is their very own. No man ever sat alone on the top of a hill and planned a murder or a robbery, and no man ever came down from the hills without feeling in some way refreshed, and the better for his experience.”

Alfred Wainwright

So if you want to create new perspectives and feel a powerful stirring in your soul, I suggest you take Mr. Wainwright’s advice and find yourself some suitable clothing that allows you to get out and experience the weather in all its forms. Be one of the people who feels the rain and not one of the crowd who just gets wet!

Every time I see a river, feels like I’m back in love again

It’s finally Springtime here in the Northeast and this man’s fancy has turned to thoughts of fishing and of reconnecting with the rivers I have known since my youth.

My father was an avid outdoors man who spent most of his free time in nature – fishing during the Spring and Summer months; trapping muskrat, mink, raccoon, otter, beaver and fisher cat during the Fall; ice fishing during the long winter months.

Being the youngest of my father’s four sons, I knew that if I wanted to spend any time with the man I idolized, I would have to accompany him during his many woodland adventures. As I walked beside my father he would scan the forest floor and waterways for animal signs and tell me what he saw there – stories that made the forest come alive in my imagination .

My father’s favorite outdoor activity was fishing rivers for trout and it quickly became my favorite activity as well. Trout fishing was appealing to us because it required skill to entice the notoriously fussy fish to bite and once hooked trout put up a good fight and are a challenge to land – especially when you are using light tackle and you have to battle not only the fish and the river current, but also any submerged debris that lies unseen under the surface. On many days, we lost more trout than we landed.

The Author with his Father and Brother

My father introduced me to the sport gradually, letting me come along with him and two of my older brothers starting when I was ten years old. Over time he taught me how to tie knots, how to cast a spin rod and a fly rod, how to string live bait and how to fish with lures and flies.

The most important thing he taught me was how to read a river, to recognize the places in the river where trout are most likely to lie in wait – places like deep undercut banks, fallen trees, natural whirlpools behind submerged rocks and deep holes just behind shallow fast moving water.

For each of these river features he would explain the best way to present the bait so that it would appear most natural to the fish. He would tell me memorable stories from years past about the big fish he had caught at the spots where we were fishing. He would point out where to cast in the river for the best result and when I made a cast that met with his approval his eyes would sparkle and he would say; “That a boy – you should get a bite there!“.

When we waded a stream together, my father always let me fish the best spots and when we fished the river from a canoe he would insist that I take the front seat because it gave him more joy to see me catch a fish than it did to catch one himself.

And that is how I was introduced and grew to love all the best trout fishing rivers within a 3 hour drive of my home. The rivers Green, North, Swift, Millers, Ware, Tully, Deerfield, Cold, Ashuelot, Souhegan, Contoocook, Nissitisit, Squannacook, Lawrence and Priest.

I fished them with my father for 45 years, and I fish them now mostly alone – except for the strong presence of my Dad, whose spirit I still feel guiding me whenever I am fishing.

There is something almost magical about a river. If you think about it, a river is a moving, living part of the very earth itself and each river is endowed with its own personality. Some are fast and shallow, some are deep and slow, some meander aimlessly while others are direct and powerful.

Rivers are my happy place, a refuge from the demands of life and a humble reminder to me that life and time flows on despite all the small things we worry about and think are so important. Novelist and poet Jim Harrison recognized the restorative power of moving water, writing “You can’t be unhappy in the middle of a big beautiful river“.

Other visionaries and artists throughout the ages have also sung the praises of rivers.

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday.

A.A. Milne, Author of Winnie the Pooh

The river knows the way to the sea: Without a pilot it runs and falls, blessing all lands with its charity.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you also learned that secret from the river; that there is no such thing as time? That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere and that only the present exists for it, not the shadow of the past nor the shadow of the future.

Herman Hesse, excerpt from Siddhartha

Each Spring when I come to revisit my favorite rivers, I return to my youth, smitten again by the beauty of the landscape and overwhelmed with remembrances of the happy memories experienced in years past. It is like the sentiment expressed in the Van Morrison song lyric: “Every time I see a river, feels like I’m back in love again“

Like people, the character of a river changes continually and each year I marvel how time and circumstances have changed these lifelong friends – and how they have changed me as well. The Greek Philosopher Heraclitus was right when he observed that “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man“.

A river is a river, always there, and yet the water flowing through it is never the same water and is never still. It’s always changing and is always on the move. And over time the river itself changes too. It widens and deepens as it relentlessly erodes its way through the land.

Maybe I am fascinated by rivers because they are a good metaphor for life and people in the following ways:

• The life-giving waters of a river emanate from the same source and they travel towards the same end. Our life too is sparked by a Creator, to which we will return at the end of our journey.
• The waters of a river flow continually, but the water is always different – constantly being renewed. We too must undertake productive pursuits with our life energy to avoid unhealthy stagnation.
• Rivers have segments that can be easily characterized; slow and straight, fast raging rapids, tranquil meandering with little visible movement, gurgling multi-speed currents. People, likewise experience many different segments in their day to day living. Sometimes we walk steadily straight ahead confident in our path, sometimes our life accelerates furiously as we try to hang on, sometimes the way forward sparkles in the clear brilliant sunshine, other times the path forward is shrouded by fog and unexpected turns.

As our river of life continues on to its final destination, I offer up this river prayer for a smooth journey and a safe return to our place of origin:

Heavenly Father… Do not allow our troubles to overflow and overwhelm our life. When our life is overflowing give us the capacity to widen, deepen and expand. When there is time of drought, do not allow us to stagnate and become like an arid riverbed. Give us the courage to overcome people who would try to dam our spirits or channel us so that we only flow where they want. Bless our path so that we flow freely through life following a course that leads us back to you… Amen.

“There is something in the forest to cure most anything that bothers you.”

My love affair with the woods and wild places began at a young age. My father was a recreational fur trapper and fisherman and when I was a boy I would look forward in eager anticipation to those days when he would let me accompany him on his woodland outings to teach me the ways of nature.

It was an interest we shared for almost 50 years – one that strengthened the father/son bond and accounted for many happy homecomings over the years when we would reminisce about our past outdoor expeditions and latest woodland experiences. Even today, after his passing, I go to the woods to commune with my father’s spirit and to feel his presence.

My recent retirement has allowed me to walk and kayak new places in nature that I have always wanted to explore but never had enough time. I have mapped out all the nearby state parks and wilderness trails and have been happily hiking the trails during this beautiful New England Fall season.

I find that upon my return from these forest jaunts, I always feel better than when I departed – the medicine of the forest seems to be the cure for whatever happens to be bothering me. That is why it was not surprising to me when I happened across an article in Time magazine on a Japanese study about the healing power of nature.

The goal of the study was to clinically prove the therapeutic benefits of spending time in nature and to encourage the practice of what they call shinrin-yoku or “forest bathing”. Their study confirmed these benefits of going back to nature :

• People who spent 40 minutes walking in a forest had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, compared with when they spent 40 minutes walking in a lab.
• Trees and plants emit aromatic compounds that when inhaled spur healthy biological changes in the body similar to the effects of aromatherapy.
• When people walked through or stayed overnight in forests, they exhibited changes in their blood associated with protection against cancer, better immunity and lower blood pressure.
• The quiet atmosphere, beautiful scenery, good smells and fresh, clean air in forests were linked to symptom relief for heart disease, depression, cancer, anxiety and attention disorders.
• Children with ADHD symptoms who regularly played in outdoor areas and parks had milder symptoms and were able to concentrate better than children who played indoors.
• Exposure to nature elicit feelings of awe which caused individuals to feel less entitled, less selfish, and to behave in more generous and helping behaviors.
• Even exposure to artificial nature images, sounds, and smells can have positive health benefits. Listening to nature sounds over headphones helps people recover faster from stress. One study found that people recovered faster from abdominal surgery, experienced fewer complications, and required less pain medication when their hospital room had a window with tree-lined views.

Little did I know when I was walking in the woods that I was receiving all those health benefits – I only know that I always feel better after returning from my day spent in nature. So, take time to get your forest bath today – it’s good for whatever ails you!

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking”

My co-worker at the high technology company I once worked at was the software architect for a sophisticated manufacturing test system. He was highly skilled at both hardware and software design and was responsible for inventing and implementing many innovative test features that made our products a success in the marketplace.

I thought it strange that I would often see this brilliant engineer walking the corridors and halls of the company with his hands behind his back or stroking his chin – his mind so deep in thought that he did not even acknowledge the presence of those passing by.

I learned that it was his habit to get out of his office and walk whenever he was trying to work out solutions to complex problems or devise efficient algorithms to improve system performance characteristics. That memory of him flashed across my mind when I came across Nietzsche’s quote: “All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking“.

I can’t claim to be the author of any great thoughts, but I have found that walking has also helped me in ways that have benefited my body, mind, and spirit. I have tried to include a walk in my daily activities ever since I was a young man; and most of my major life decisions were made during my solitary walks – many of them illuminated only by the light of the moon in the nighttime sky.

I am not sure what it is about walking that lends itself to constructive thinking, but for me it is a combination of factors:

• It removes me from my environment and all the multi-tasking distractions preventing me from letting my mind wander. When you go outside, you interrupt what you are doing – and stopping what you are trying to achieve allows the subconsciousness to work on different ways to achieve it. The human species was designed to thrive outside, not at a desk or a couch.
• It boosts my mood and improves my circulation which seems to improve my creativity. As Henry David Thoreau once wrote; “Methinks the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow“.
• It moves me from focusing on myself and my problems to contemplating things that are bigger than myself and it makes me realize how small I am in comparison with the greater world. Admiring nature and the vastness of the universe prompts unrestrained thinking.

So next time you have a problem you can’t solve, an important decision you need to make, or are seeking consolation from life’s sorrows, all you really need do is go for a walk. Remember the wisdom of the famous naturalist and father of the National Parks, John Muir, who remarked; “I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in“.

Fall always carries with it a touch of sadness

Autumn has always been my favorite season. There is something other-worldly about Fall in New England; some golden spell lingers over the brilliant colors, crisp air and falling leaves that penetrates my soul with its mysterious power. Unlike Spring, Summer, and Winter, which unfold year after year in similar fashion, each Fall season seems completely different and unique – a once in a lifetime experience for me to enjoy!

Being outdoors on a glorious Fall day, and seeing the explosion of colors wherever I turn, brings to mind the words from the hymn “Canticle of the Sun”:

“The heavens are telling the glory of God,
and all creation is shouting for joy…”

Just breathing the Fall air and marveling at the foliage seems to have a rejuvenating effect on me and makes me feel as if I was a 12 year old boy again – and seeing the world for the first time.

Fall is the harvest season, the time of the year when nature’s beauty is in full display; the time of year when I can put away my lawn mower and be glad to pick up a rake; a time when I can walk and run without being overcome by heat or insects; a time when I do not need my home heater or air conditioner.

Despite the magnificence of Fall it is also a season of melancholy for me. I have thought about the reasons for this:

• Fall is the season that most demonstrates the passage of time – it encourages us to think upon the swiftness with which our days are passing away.
• Strange as it seems, the source of the power behind the spectacular days of Autumn is the death and decay of the living – which carries an idea of sadness with it but also a lesson for us to consider about what beauty we can bring to the world when it comes time for us to decay and die.
• It signifies the start of shorter days and longer nights, the beginning of a dormant period for nature and reminds us that we too are part of a cycle of life that is beyond our control.
• It is a time for looking back. Fall days past, because of their brilliance, come easily to mind and take me back to memorable times spent with loved ones that I will never get back.

Let us embrace both the joy and sadness of Autumn – both emotions have served me well on my journey and have helped me to honor the past while appreciating the beauty of today. Blessed are we to witness the “year’s last loveliest smile…”

“The best way for a father to love his children, is for him to love their mother”

I have learned that writing is one of the things that helps me to cope with the grieving process. In that spirit I offer up this blog on the occasion of the passing of my father – a reflection and appreciation of my Dad’s life.

Mom & Dad

Ronald E. Albee 1928 – 2015

Reflection on a Life

Ronald Edwin Albee was born in 1928 – at the tail end of the “Roaring 20’s” and just before the Great Depression began to blow across the country. – It was the year that Charles Lindbergh became the first man to fly across the Atlantic Ocean and Television started broadcasting its first channel. He was the second of three children born to Nellie and Ray Albee.

His earliest memory came when he was 3 years old. A sparkler he was holding during an Independence Day celebration ignited his shirt. His father saw his young son in flames and jumped down from a second story porch to help smother the fire – but not before young Ronnie suffered serious burns on his chest.

His Aunt Gly Tallman helped to nurse him back to health, giving her a special place in his heart throughout his life. In later years Ronnie would show his children the burn scars on his chest as a way to teach them about having a healthy respect for fire.

He was an active kid growing up and he made friends easily with the kids of his South Gardner neighborhood known as the “Patch”. They played sandlot baseball and football and would usually beat the teams from the other sections of the city. He forged lifetime relationships with his “gang” of kids (which included Billy Meehan, Tony Stone and Tony Manca) who kept in contact with him throughout his lifetime and who would call him every year – even into his 80’s – to wish him a happy birthday.

He liked to go to the Saturday movie matinees with his older brother, Clyde, at the old Gardner Uptown theatre. He would spend his 15 cent allowance to see a Double Feature of Hopalong Cassidy and Roy Roger’s movies – he paid 10 cents for the movie tickets and 5 cents for a large bag of his favorite Peanut Butter kisses.

Walking home from one of those Saturday matinee movies, 10 year old Ronnie and his brother got caught up in the great Hurricane of 1938. They tried to fight the high winds but for every step they took the wind pushed them back 2 steps. They ended up huddled under a concrete stairway at the Royal Steam Heater Co on Main St to wait out the storm. Luckily, the owners happened to notice the two boys under the stairs and offered them shelter in their house. After the storm passed the owners drove the two grateful boys home.

Although Ronnie made friends easily, he enjoyed solitude mostly– perfectly content to amuse himself and be on his own – especially if it had anything to do with nature. When he was a young teenager he bought a “Make Your Own Kayak” kit that he put together by himself. It wasn’t the most seaworthy of boats but it served his purposes. He would carry that kayak down the street on his back to Bent’s pond where he would spend many happy hours fishing and paddling around.

He was fortunate to have an uncle and a lifelong friend in Eddie Tallman who taught him the ways of nature – especially how to trap and fish – when he was a boy. He was always grateful for the time his uncle spent teaching him and he made it a point to return that favor throughout his life; teaching his sons, daughters, grandchildren, and even his Parish Priest (Fr Martinez) how to fish and enjoy nature.

One of the first things he caught trapping when he was 13 years old was a skunk. He was so proud of that first piece of fur that he put the skunk in a shopping bag and rode the bus to Uncle Eddie’s Templeton house to show it to him. I’m pretty sure that the others riding on the bus that day were not as excited as my father was about his first catch.

In 1944, many of my father’s friends were drafted to serve in World War II – Ronnie enrolled for the draft at 16 but was given a deferment so that he could finish High School. By the time he graduated two years later the war was over.

In the Summer of 1946, the Boston Red Sox celebrated Gardner Day at Fenway Park – 18 year old Ronnie was part of a committee representing the citizens of Gardner that went on the field to present Ted Williams with a gift of a telephone pole sized baseball bat from the citizens of the “Chair City”.

Dad would boast with pride in later years that he was on the same field with Ted Williams, Johnny Pesky, Bobby Doehrr, and Dom Dimaggio. I remember visiting the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown NY 65 years later in 2011 and seeing that same gigantic-sized baseball bat displayed prominently on the museum wall.

Ronnie was always a good student and a dependable worker. He began working at 15 on a chicken farm for 25 cents per hour, then he moved on to an upholstery job, doing piece work where he could make up to $3 hour – which was a lot of money for a young kid in those days. After graduation from High School he began work as a laborer for the city highway department.

It was about this time that Ronnie’s cousin introduced my Dad to the beautiful Claire Meunier. Claire fell in love with Ronnie’s blue eyes and quiet nature and made it a point to show up at events she knew he would be attending. Ronnie didn’t have a chance against Claire’s many charms and he fell head over heels in love with her.  The two would date and Ronnie would take her home on the last bus from Gardner to Templeton. He didn’t mind running the six miles from the Meunier farm back to his home in Gardner if it meant he could spend an extra hour with his sweetheart.

When he asked for Claire’s hand in Marriage, her parents surprised them by saying no. You see Ronnie was a sometime practicing Protestant and Noe and Bernadette could not permit their daughter to marry a man who was not a Catholic. Ronnie was heartbroken, but he decided to talk to a Priest and sign up for catechism classes and become a Catholic. It was in this way that Ronnie came to win his prize bride, and the riches of his Catholic faith also, which gave him great comfort throughout his life. He once told me that marrying my mother and becoming Catholic “were the two best decisions he ever made”.

He married Claire Aline Meunier on her birthday in September 4, 1948 when they were both 20 years old. The Newlyweds began a charmed life together, filled with work, Saturday Night dancing to the music of the Sparky Lane orchestra and the arrival of their first son Robert.

Over the course of the next 16 years, Diane, Danny, Gary, Aline, Linda, Alan and Lisa followed: a blessing of eight happy and healthy children. It was a home where the children thrived because the love of our parents was at its core.

There is a saying that the best way for a father to love his children, is for him to love their mother. And my father loved, cherished and respected my mother all the days of his life – and through loving her, he did the most important thing he could do to love his children.

Our family was never rich in material things, but it didn’t seem to matter – we were happy. Seven kids were squeezed into that first 2 bedroom house. Brothers and sisters often wore hand me down clothes, and we knew better than to be late for dinner lest the food disappear before we could get our share. But the love was abundant and by their actions they taught us a lesson to live simply, work hard and share what we had with others.

One way they saved money was to give their children haircuts. My father would corral his four sons in the basement where we would each take turns sitting in the haircut chair. Dad only knew one style, very short crew cut. Not being fans of that particular style, we were glad once we got our first jobs because it meant that we could earn enough money to go to the barbershop and escape Dad’s haircut chair.

My father was never too much of a disciplinarian; he would do it if it was called for – or if my mother twisted his arm to do it. His heart was never in it but somehow it was still effective because just knowing that our Father was disappointed in something we did made us feel terrible and it hurt more than any punishment he would give us.

In the early years my parents took on small second jobs to make ends meet. My father would take his whole year’s vacation time during the month of November to go trapping. He would spend 17 hour days, 7 days a week setting traps and taking care of the muskrat, mink, beaver, otter and Fisher cats that he would catch. He would sell the fur he caught at an auction in December and then give all the money he collected to my Mother so she could buy Christmas gifts for the family. Christmas was always magical because of the sacrifices he made.

Many of those years on the trapline were spent with his son Danny. They formed a close bond that comes with being partners on a trap line and they developed a healthy competition trying to see who could catch the most fur. My father would proudly recall the day when Danny caught a mink on the last day of the trapping season to beat him out in the race to see who would catch the most mink. He was so happy that he lost to his son. That’s the kind of father he was – happier for his children’s success than for any of his own.

He worked his way up to become Foreman of the Highway Department and then Director of Public Works for the City of Gardner. He liked working heavy equipment and being outside but as he rose higher in the ranks he did not enjoy the paperwork and politics of the desk job.

When I was in High School, I discovered that my Father was the one who helped make the call as to whether school would be cancelled due to bad weather conditions. I would try to cajole and badger him into telling me if school would be canceled the next day, but his response to me was always the same “I suggest you do your homework son”.

In 1985, after 38 years working for the Gardner DPW, he decided to take a retirement package at the early age of 57. That freed him up to do the things he loved most during the last 30 years of his life: fishing, trapping, gardening, going to the dog track, watching sports, playing cards, doing crossword puzzles, napping and indulging his sweet tooth.

My father was never bored – even though in his 87 years he never left the New England area and never traveled more than 300 miles from his home.  He was a lifetime Gardner resident. He was content just walking in wooded areas and canoeing along rivers or ponds observing wildlife activities and signs.

I spent many of the happiest days of my life fishing with my Dad. We would usually catch fish but it didn’t matter to me if we didn’t – because just being with him made me happy. It has been said that the Lord does not deduct from man’s allotted span the hours spent in fishing. If that is the case, I estimate Dad extended his life a good nine years past his allotted time.

One particularly memorable fishing experience happened in early Spring at the Millers River. We beached the canoe we were fishing in at a small dam and began casting from shore. As we were standing there we noticed that the canoe had gotten loose and was floating unattended down the river. It eventually got hung up on some bushes on the other side of the river but we could not get to it because the water was deep, cold, and very fast.

We couldn’t figure out how to get to the other side without walking several miles to the bridge upstream. My father then suggested that we try to cast our fishing poles and “hook” the canoe and reel it in over to our side of the river. We figured it was worth a shot – my first cast sailed right over the canoe and got caught on the branches – which was predictable for me at the time. That put even more pressure on my Dad – he was cautious in his first two casts, landing in the water just short of the canoe, but his third cast hit the canoe dead center and wrapped around the support bar – an amazing cast!

He worried that the weight of the canoe and the swift current would break his line as he tried to reel the boat in, so I stripped down to my underwear and stood in the cold water just downstream prepared to swim after the canoe in case the line broke. Luckily I did not have to jump in, as Dad used the drag on his pole to reduce the tension on the line and gently guide the canoe over to where I was waiting. We often joked afterwards about that being the biggest catch of his life.

I remember tagging along with Dad when I was young boy and marveling at how many different places in the woods he knew and how he never got lost. He was at home in the woods and seemed to have unlimited energy bounding up and down the river banks as effortlessly as a mink. It was difficult for me as he aged to see how Father Time had slowed him down and how I now had to help him up those same river banks he used to help me climb so many times when I was a boy. Life comes full circle in the end, but even as his conditions worsened he never stopped showing us how to live a life of dignity and integrity – even to the end in the way he chose to die.

There is a saying that “One day all that will be left of us is the memories we leave with others – so make sure they are good ones”. I have shared a small number of the good memories that my Dad has left with me. There are countless others in the hearts and minds of all those he touched in big and small ways.

It is a testament to the kind of man he was underneath it all; someone who was honest and humble, someone who valued people for who they were and welcomed everyone with a smile, someone who enjoyed life’s simple pleasures and was happy with what he had.

Joy and success for him were not defined by money or things, but by the love of his wife, the gathering of his children and grandchildren around his table, and the opportunity to share laughs until his blue eyes were sparkling with delight. My daughter summed up her Pepere nicely when she wrote: “if you knew him, you couldn’t help but love him”.

So here’s to you Ronald Albee – beloved husband, father, grandfather, friend and best of men. You lived a life full of grace and made this world a better place. We will miss you but you leave us with a legacy we will carry in our hearts everywhere we go – to every stream, lake, wood, hill, field and far off place that we travel.

You will always be a light for us; guiding us in the right direction as we strive every day to live up to your high standards and make decisions we hope would make you proud of us. We love you Dad – Thank you for a job well done. May you rest in peace.