Industry is the Enemy of Melancholy

I was fortunate to retire from my traditional work career at the relatively young age of 56. Retiring early had become a goal of mine ever since I observed how much my father enjoyed his 30 year post-work life. My father was perfectly content to leave the working life behind and fill up his days with fishing, tending his vegetable garden, solving the daily crossword puzzle, taking naps and watching the home town Sports teams on his television.

When the time came for me to retire, I had an idyllic vision of spending my days in similar fashion. Finally, after 56 years, I was looking forward to being my own boss – thrilled to have the opportunity to wake up every day and do whatever it was that interested me. I believed that every day would feel like Christmas!

And those first few months of retirement really were magical. Gone was the stress of having to be available 24/7 to my company’s sales and management teams who were battling to close million dollar deals, gone was the daily 3 to 4 hour commute in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and gone was the chronic sleep deficit.

It was goodbye to all that. What replaced it was the pleasure of deciding which book to read from my list of “books I always wanted to read“, fly fishing in the beautiful rivers of New England, taking long rides on my electric bike, spending quality time with my grandkids, and attending stimulating concerts and plays with my wife.

Something begin to happen, however, that I was not expecting about six months into my retirement. As the novelty and thrill of being retired began to subside I began to notice that I was experiencing melancholy moods and moments of soul searching. I was spending time reflecting on topics like past loss, the certainty of my physical and mental decline, and the uncertainty of how future generations will deal with the big existential challenges the world is facing.

Without the rigors of work to occupy my attention, my mind was set free to wander where it wanted to go and to my surprise I discovered that it often wanted to contemplate dark and doleful topics. I was not that concerned about these sometime melancholy moods because I reasoned that it is one of life’s natural reactions to harbor feelings of both happiness and sadness; and I remembered the wise old grandmother who once said: “A good day is a laugh and a cry“. Still I wondered why my pensive thoughts were increasing in frequency at a time in my life when I expected to be most content.

Then I happened to read about a study conducted by Harvard psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert which could help to explain the phenomenon I was experiencing. These researchers developed a smartphone app that allowed them to collect the thoughts, feelings, and actions of a broad range of people at random moments as they went about their daily activities.

Using the app, Killingsworth and Gilbert asked people what they were doing and how happy they were while doing it. They sifted through 25,000 responses from more than 5000 people and reported that 46% of the people were thinking about things other than what they were actually doing at the time (in other words, they were daydreaming about something other than what they were doing). They discovered that those people who were daydreaming typically were not happy; while those who were fully engaged in their activity were the happiest. 

The researchers wrote that unlike other animals, human beings spend a lot of time thinking about what is not going on around them, contemplating instead events that happened in the past, might happen in the future, or will never happen at all. This “stimulus-independent thought” or “mind wandering” appears to be the brain’s default mode of operation.

Although this ability is a remarkable evolutionary achievement that allows people to learn, reason, and plan, it apparently comes with an emotional cost. “We see evidence that a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” they said in their report. The bottom line is that we’re more likely to think negative thoughts when we let our minds wander.

Maybe that is why people who are waiting in line or stuck in traffic appear to be more irritable. And maybe my melancholy moods have increased in frequency since leaving work simply because my mind is no longer required to spend 10+ hours a day focused on the demands of my job.

This study confirms that many philosophical and religious traditions are on to something true when they teach that happiness is to be found by living in the moment, and by training their practitioners to resist mind wandering and concentrate on the here and now. Yoga teachers and those teaching meditation practices usually stress the importance of “mindfulness” or “being present” for a good reason — because when we do, it usually puts us in a better mood.

When I look back at my work career, I can see now that those moments when I felt most fulfilled was when I was in the middle of product development activities, being part of a team inventing electronic test solutions to solve complex manufacturing challenges. During those moments all the powers of my mind were fully engaged in solving the problem at hand and there was a sense that the results of the team’s collective work would have a positive impact on the company, our customers, and to a certain extent, society in general.

William F. Buckley put his finger on the unique ability that meaningful work has in preventing the onset of depressive feelings when he wrote “Industry is the enemy of Melancholy“. Simply put, if we are busy doing work that requires a focused mind it becomes difficult for the mind to wander and contemplate spirit dampening topics that are likely to cause the blues.

I happened to listen to an online homily about work that touched on a similar theme from a spiritual point of view that was given by Bishop Robert Barron. Bishop Barron made the point that our very being is deeply influenced by our actions and that the kind of work we do has a lot to do with the kind of people we become.

People who have no work usually struggle with depression because our sense of dignity often comes from work. Those who suffer from unemployment feel not just the financial burden of a lost paycheck, but also the loss of dignity brought about from the loss of their livelihood.

When you are feeling down one of the things psychologists recommend is to get to work on a project. It tends to make you feel better because work engages the powers of mind, will, creativity, and imagination and we become awakened when we give ourselves over to a project.

It doesn’t have to be a grand or complicated project. In fact, Bishop Barron mentioned that he found that one of the things that brings him the most satisfaction is doing the dishes. His day is usually filled with meetings and intellectual activities, so it is a relief for him to do some simple physical work at the end of the day. It brings him satisfaction to make order out of a dirty kitchen and to see everything clean and in its place when he is done.

The Bishop referenced this lyric from Bob Dylan’s song “Forever Young” to emphasize that work is a blessing and that souls can not fully prosper when their hands and feet are idle.

“May your hands always be busy, may your feet always be swift, may you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift”

Bob Dylan; Forever Young

Not all work is physical, though. Pope John Paul II categorized different kinds of work for the faithful. There is physical work (the work of the body), intellectual work (the work of the mind), spiritual work (the feeding of one’s soul), and moral work (charitable work on behalf of the poor and mistreated). When we are attentive to each of these categories of work in our daily life, it is then that we best fulfill our divine potential and become collaborators with the purpose of God.

I like that idea. May we all come to see our work, in all its different manifestations, as collaborating with the purpose of God and as bringing us into a more perfect union with a higher power.

Nothing is forever in this world, even your problems

If I could go back in time, one of the things I would tell my younger self is not to worry so much about what other people think about him or inflate the importance he thinks small events will have on his future.

Because sometimes, especially when we are young, we become our own worst enemies when we inhabit a distorted world where we imagine that everybody we see is judging our every move and we worry that people will gossip about us behind our backs (or worse embarrass us on social media!) if we happen to do something outside of culturally accepted norms.

These worries can be harmful if they cause us to withdraw and lead a cautious life. Instead of living in the moment and boldly taking on new and interesting challenges, we play it safe and stop taking chances because we are frightened how people will view us if we make a mistake.

We think that if we don’t make a good impression, then we will be ridiculed or ignored, forever limiting our opportunities to succeed in the future. Constantly worrying about what others think about us can lead to anxiety and even depression, but even worse, it prevents us from achieving our full potential.

What I would tell my younger self is that the truth is, in most cases, that other people are not thinking about you! They are too wrapped up thinking about themselves and their own life to waste time thinking about or remembering anything that we do (good or bad). I laugh when I look back now at all of the small things that seemed so big to me when I was young and I realize I assigned them way more importance in my mind than they deserved.

When I was in school, I remember being paralyzed with fear at the thought of public speaking . In Junior High, the Principle asked me to get up at an Assembly and introduce an act in front of the whole school. I practiced the introduction over and over and thought I had it memorized; but when the lights came up and I was facing the entire Assembly, I completely blanked, muttered something incomprehensible, and stumbled backstage.

I was mortified and walked around for the rest of the week with my eyes downcast, imagining that all my classmates were talking about me and my embarrassing performance. That episode left a mental scar that stayed with me throughout high school. I would have anxiety whenever I was asked to speak in front of an audience. My mind kept imagining another disaster – and even when I managed to get through a speaking assignment without a major mistake – my thoughts kept focusing on how I should have done better.

I didn’t start to feel comfortable speaking in public until I went to College and attended a Speech class that exposed me to methods for dealing with anxiety and the practice of focusing on positive outcomes rather than the fear of failing. That young boy who feared public speaking would never have believed that his older self would someday speak to an audience of hundreds at engineering conferences, participate as a Lector in his church community, happily officiate weddings for friends and family and deliver eulogies to honor the deceased.

I’m sure nobody but me thinks back to that moment in 1973 when I flubbed my speech in front of the school assembly; and my worst fears about being ridiculed by my classmates never happened. My friends joked with me saying they were glad the Principal hadn’t asked them to do the introduction and the rest of my classmates quickly forgot the incident as they were too occupied concentrating on all the events and drama happening in their own life.

That moment and other traumatic events in my life, like failing my first driving test or watching the Red Sox choke away the World Series to the New York Mets in 1986 have taught me an important life lesson that is best summarized by an expression coined by the great Charlie Chaplin:

“Nothing is forever in this world, even your problems”

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin from the film “Modern Times”

Chaplin was no stranger to problems. His childhood in London was one of poverty and hardship, as his alcoholic father was absent and abusive and his mother was committed to a mental asylum when he was 14. He was sent to live in a workhouse twice before the age of nine. Reminiscing upon his childhood, Chaplin wrote “I was hardly aware of a crisis because we lived in a continual crisis; and, being a boy, I dismissed our troubles with gracious forgetfulness“.

Despite these less than ideal childhood circumstances, Chaplin managed to start performing in music halls and working as a stage actor and comedian, where he developed his Tramp persona. He was scouted by the film industry and moved to America where he began appearing in comedies starting in 1914. Within four years he became one of the best known figures in the world.

Troubles found their way into Chaplin’s life again in the 1940s when a number of controversies led to a rapid decline in his popularity. He was accused of communist sympathies, and some members of the press and public found his involvement in a paternity suit, and marriages to much younger women, scandalous. A politically motivated FBI investigation against him was opened by J. Edgar Hoover which forced Chaplin to leave the United States in disgrace and settle in Switzerland.

Chaplin eventually overcame these problems as well. He married the daughter of playwright Eugene O’Neil when he was 54 and lived happily with her and their 8 children until he died at the age of 88. During this time he was awarded honorary degrees from many prestigious universities and was finally invited back to America in 1972 when he was given a [12 minute standing ovation] at the Academy Awards for “the incalculable effect he has had in making motion pictures the art form of this century“. Charlie Chaplain continues to be held in high regard today, with his movies The Gold Rush, City Lights, Modern Times, and The Great Dictator often ranked on lists of the greatest films of all time.

I think about Charlie Chaplin’s wise observation that nothing lasts forever in this world when I encounter problems in my life that seem as if they are insurmountable. I try not to worry so much about what other people are thinking and remind myself that life will go on, problems will eventually fade, and other people’s opinions can not defeat me or define my future as long as I remain productive and engaged in positive pursuits. It gives me hope to believe that all suffering eventually ends.

There is one final point that is important for us all to consider; which is that just as troubles do not last forever, neither do the good times. This is an unfortunate corollary to Chaplin’s idea that often goes without saying. Sometimes we take the good times for granted and fail to fully appreciate our good fortune.

So, I hope that when things are going well in your life, you find time to slow down, live in the moment and acknowledge your blessings, because the good times become all the sweeter when you realize that they will not last.

Feeling Like a Stranger Nobody Sees

Bob Dylan recently celebrated his 80th birthday by releasing a film noir streaming art movie of him singing songs from his early career. The movie was filmed entirely in black & white and was appropriately named Shadow Kingdom because throughout the film dark shadows obscure the musicians and most of the surroundings.

Screenshot from Bob Dylan’s Shadow Kingdom Film

The set reminded me of something right out of an old twilight zone episode, a 1940’s style dark and smoky nightclub where the dozen or so people in the barroom sit at tables with their drinks and cigarettes, or mingle out on the dance floor slowly grooving to the music of Bob’s four piece band.

I realized while watching that Bob was clearly the oldest person in the film – there doesn’t appear to be a person in the band or in the audience who is older than 40 – most appear to be in their 20’s and 30’s. I’m not sure if it was his intention, but it would not surprise me to learn that Bob specifically wanted to surround himself with young people. After all, he is the man who wrote Forever Young and the one who made famous the observation that “He not busy being born is busy dying“.

For Bob it seems as if age is not a number but an attitude, and throughout his career he has refused to become a nostalgia act or to live on his past glories. Instead he has continuously changed and reinvented himself; and along the way he has succeeded in making music that is relevant and appealing to every generation. One look at the mix of young and old faces at his concerts demonstrates his ability to speak to all ages.

Which is difficult to do because in today’s society the elderly are often overlooked by the young. As people get older, they often get the feeling that they are being ignored and that they are becoming invisible within their communities. A couple lyrics from Bob Dylan’s later songs indicate that even someone as famous as him is not immune from this feeling.

Walking through the leaves, falling from the trees
Feeling like a stranger nobody sees

Lyrics from song Mississippi by Bob Dylan

I see people in the park forgetting their troubles and woes
They’re drinking and dancing, wearing bright-colored clothes
All the young men with their young women looking so good
Well, I’d trade places with any of them
In a minute, if I could

Lyrics from song Highlands by Bob Dylan

In these lyrics, Bob ponders the predicament which many old people find themselves in. Just when they should start feeling fortunate for reaching their seventh or eighth decade of life, their bodies become old and frail and they find themselves becoming unvalued outsiders. It seems as if the world speeds up and they just become spectators to life happening around them.

Strangers who once smiled and acknowledged them as they walked past begin passing by without even a glance. They become self-conscious about their appearance and failing senses and withdraw further into isolation, sadly contributing towards their own “invisibility”.

The author Helen Garner, in her 2015 essay The Insults of Age, writes that women especially have always had an acute awareness of growing old. Her essay explores all the cruel ways in which getting older means being erased from a culture that equates youth and beauty with value. “Your face is lined, and your hair is grey, so they think you are weak, deaf, helpless, ignorant and stupid. It is assumed that you have no opinions and no standards of behavior and that nothing that happens in your vicinity is any of your business.”

My father as he got older suffered from COPD (which made it a struggle for him to breathe) and hearing decline (which made it hard for him to follow group conversations). Despite this, he was beloved by his eight children for his wisdom, good nature, and the code of honor with which he lived his life.

But I remember my mother telling me about an incident that occurred that was very hurtful to my father when he was older. There were a group of people sitting around the table having a discussion about a specific topic. My father ventured to offer his opinion on the subject when one of the young people interrupted and told him that “Nobody really cares what you think“.

Those words were a shock for my father to hear. He was a man of integrity who was used to being treated with respect and dignity throughout his life and whose opinion was always highly valued. To bluntly be told that nobody cared what he thought was like a slap in the face. With incidences like this happening to the elderly is it any wonder why they become confused and retreat into isolation?

There was a time in the past when the elderly were revered, cared for, and sought out for their wisdom. It seems that today they are instead viewed as a burden and out of touch with the way the world operates. There is a generation of people that are overlooked every day.

Age should not define a person or diminish respect from others. According to the American Psychological Association, people who do not feel connected are at increased risk of depression, dementia, and poor self-esteem – all factors that can affect physical and mental health and overall life satisfaction.

And this problem between the generations is only likely to get worse as aging adults shuffle themselves off into sterile retirement communities that bill themselves as “God’s Waiting Room” while young adults flock to the vibrancy and vitality of urban cities. Both sides lose in this segregation of the generations as it becomes difficult for the young to imagine what their life might look like when they are older and the old forget what it is like to see the world for the first time through new eyes.

In a society that idolizes youth and youth culture, it can be difficult to understand and address the challenges older adults face. Changing society’s perception of the elderly is beyond me, but I can try to go out of my way to fully engage with the older adults I encounter in my day-to-day activities – to show them that I see them and that they are not invisible!

If each of us made a small effort to be friendly with the older adults we encounter, to listen to what they have to say and to treat them with dignity, then we would all be richer for the experience. Old folks have a lifetime of experiences to share and many interesting stories to tell – if we only give them the chance.

Perhaps there is a selfish motivation behind my efforts to fight the stigma of aging. After all, pretty soon I will be considered an old timer (my ten year old grandson already calls me an oldster); and I hope people will still see me and treat me with dignity as my body runs down. Invisibility is a good Superpower to have in the movies but, I imagine it must get pretty lonely in real life when nobody ever really sees you.

My Mind is in Darkness

There is a moment in the Rock Opera Jesus Christ Superstar, when Judas – right before he is about to commit suicide by hanging himself – sings out:

My mind is in darkness.
God, God I'm sick. I've been used,
And you knew it all the time.
God, God I'll never know why you chose me for your crime.

Judas’ realization that his mind was moving into darkness and his acknowledgement that he is sick struck me as a painful description of what many people with mental illness must feel as they try to overcome life’s challenges and often impossible expectations.

According to the World Health Organization, Depression is one of the most pervasive and debilitating health conditions in the world, one that affects an estimated 350 million people worldwide and contributes to the suicides of 800,000 people every year (one person every 40 seconds). It is recognized as being at the core of numerous mental health conditions and it is a leading cause of disability among adults.

In 2015, UCLA launched a study to better understand the causes of depression and to find ways to improve detection, evaluation, and treatment methods. Nearly 10,000 of the school’s freshmen were subjected to depression screening during their student orientation. The depression screening found that almost 12% of UCLA freshman reported “frequently” feeling depressed in the past year.

“That depression has not been identified as our number-one health issue astounds me,” UCLA Chancellor Gene Block said in announcing the results of the screening program, “…if you haven’t experienced depression yourself, you know someone who has“.

The familiar symptoms of depression are persistent low mood, exhaustion, loss of appetite and sex drive, an inability to enjoy life or cope with everyday activities. Less obvious symptoms include disordered and distorted thinking, agitation, physical aches and pains, and insomnia.

Depression is difficult to treat because it is not really known what causes it. We know it results from a complex interaction of social, psychological, biological and genetic factors; and that people who have gone through adverse life events are more likely to develop depression.

Further complicating diagnosis, depression doesn’t always act the same way from individual to individual, or from episode to episode, which can range from mild to severe. An episode can last from a few days to weeks, months, or even years when there are multiple interrelating causes.

Treatment for depression is a bit of a guessing game, with only a 50% success rate after the first treatment. Each sufferer often needs something different. Antidepressants sometimes work, but not always. Talk therapies help some people, but not others. Someone may feel better with increased social contact, a change in relationships, or a new job. For others, becoming less busy or starting an exercise regime is what makes the difference. Sometimes the passage of time is what helps. Unfortunately, because depression plays havoc with the capacity to see things clearly, it’s hard for a depressed person to know what they need.

Too many people, especially in the past, shunned people suffering from mental disorders and labeled them as crazy, defective or even criminal – categorizing them as people to be avoided and deserving to be outcast from everyday normal society. Mental health professionals now say that those struggling with mental illness should not be punished or ostracized, but looked at instead with compassion and empathy – and provided access to medical treatment and services.

I was listening to Outsiders, a podcast series about the homeless community in Olympia, Washington that was developed by KNKX Public Radio and The Seattle Times. The team spent one year in the city documenting the stories of people grappling with the hardships of homelessness.

One episode tells the story of Jessica, a woman in her 30’s who has been homeless for two years. During her interview, Jessica reveals that her father left her when she was young because “he loved the drink more than he loved her“. Her mother became addicted to methamphetamines and shacked up with a series of boyfriends to support her drug habit. She was first molested at the age of 4 by one of her mother’s boyfriends and during her teen years she was pimped out to pay her mother’s bills.

Jessica was constantly moving and never lived in a stable home. She first got pregnant by an abusive boyfriend, who made her give up the child for adoption. She had a second child and lived in an apartment as a single mother for several years, but she was evicted when she could no longer afford to pay the rising rent. She lost custody of her daughter when she became homeless. She is striving to find employment and a place to live so she can reclaim her daughter; but she has developed a drug habit that helps her to block the pain she feels during the long nights spent in her tent under the city bridge. She is losing all hope.

So often, one’s lot in life is determined by its beginnings – whether a person grows up in an environment where they feel loved, respected and supported. What chance did Jessica have to become a functioning adult given the circumstances of her formative years and the trauma she has endured? How can a person live with hope when they grow up with nobody they can trust? Can I honestly say that my situation in life would be much different than Jessica’s if I had grown up under similar conditions?

As a society we are quick to judge people without knowing their full story. It is no surprise that the majority of the homeless population consists of individuals who have a tragic story to tell. Many suffer from PTSD like symptoms due to childhood traumas they suffered at the hands of their dysfunctional and abusive families.

Military veterans suffering from PTSD are provided subsidized government housing and free access to medical services to treat their symptoms; but no such programs are offered to homeless people who are left having to fend for themselves and end up falling through the cracks and becoming invisible.

The homeless population do not even benefit from temporary Government assistance programs which could have a meaningful positive impact to their life (like direct payments given to citizens through the stimulus plan) because they do not have a permanent address and there is no way to contact them.

Breaking the Blues

But you don’t have to be poor and homeless to suffer from depression. All you have to do is follow the lives of the rich and famous to understand that money and possessions do not guarantee happiness. The fact that there are over 12 thousand mental health facilities in the United States alone demonstrates that Depression is an equal opportunity illness that affects all levels of the socioeconomic ladder and every class of society.

Over the course of my life, I have encountered close friends and family members fighting to overcome frightening episodes of mental health distress that have darkened their minds. Most of them were fortunate enough to seek out and find professional treatment that helped them navigate their conditions.

To be honest, I have noticed that my own mind is subject to occasional bouts of the blues. These bouts appear irregularly in my life and it is often a mystery to me what brings them on or how long they will last. I tell myself it is OK to feel blue sometimes (reminding myself of the expression that a good day is a laugh and a cry) as long as it doesn’t negatively affect my relationships with the people I love or make me blind to the beauty that can be found in each day.

Over time I have discovered various coping techniques which I can employ to help me bust out of these bouts of the blues. Employing one or more of these techniques usually helps light to sneak in and drive out the darkness trying to spread over me.

• Exercise – I don’t know the science behind it, but I do know that when I exercise regularly I tend to feel better both physically and mentally.
• Meditation – Helps me to empty my mind, lowers my stress levels and allows me to look at life’s problems and uncertainties from a new perspective.
• The Arts – Listening to a concert, visiting a museum, attending a play; all of these activities bring to life for me the infinite capacity and wonder of the human spirit.
• Writing – When my first wife was fighting her losing battle with breast cancer, I began a Gratitude Journal. Every day I would write down three things that happened during that day that made me grateful. It helped me to think about something positive beyond the big sadness in my life. This Words To Live By blog also gives me a monthly opportunity to express myself about the topics that are taking up space in my mind.
• Religion – There is something comforting in attending Catholic Mass, knowing that the same rituals – celebrating the Good News that there is a higher power and that death is not the end – have been practiced by my ancestors and by untold millions worldwide for centuries.
• Wilderness – My happy place is being out in Nature, whether it be taking extended hikes through wilderness areas, walking the trails of my town, biking down a scenic road; or, my favorite – wading a cold mountain stream in search of hungry trout.
• Reading – A good book is like a magic carpet which can transport me to different worlds and different ages. Somerset Maugham felt that the habit of reading provides a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.
• Grandchildren – Seeing the world through the eyes of your grandchildren is one of life’s most rewarding experiences. Watching them grow brings back happy memories of the past and instills hopeful thoughts of the future.
• Sleep – It’s hard to be joyful when you are tired. I’m amazed how much more pleasant the day is when I get a good night’s sleep or when I get to have a nap during the day.

I suppose all these blues busting techniques share one common element; they all tend to steer me away from the self-absorbed thoughts that typically run around in my head and they get me to start thinking about other people and about higher callings.

Warren Zevon, in his song “Don’t Let Us Get Sick“, describes how he uses this coping strategy to deal with his problems:

I thought of my friends
And the troubles they've had
To keep me from thinking of mine

Bob Dylan once gave his prescription for fighting the blues on his Theme Time Radio show, which I think is good advice to follow whenever we find our minds shrouded in darkness:

“I’m gonna tell you the magic formula for fightin’ the blues. What you got to do is go out and help someone more unfortunate than you. Go to an Orphanage. Play football with kids. Go to retirement homes. Go to Soup Kitchens. Go into Prisons. Go see some people. There are people everywhere who aren’t as well off as you. No matter how bad you have it, somebody’s got it worse. Instead of adding to the sadness in the world, why not lend a hand. Help somebody out and not just on Christmas. Why don’t you give it a try year round.“

Bob Dylan – Theme Time Radio Hour (Christmas Episode)

Wishing you all good mental health and a way for you to always make your dark clouds disappear…

“Money doesn’t talk, it swears”

Dollar Sign by Andy Warhol

This lyric comes to mind whenever I hear stories about the growing inequalities between the rich and the poor; how money is corrupting the political process and financial industries; the violent gang warfare taking place to determine who will control the illegal market for drugs; the expensive battles being fought by couples going through bitter divorce proceeding; and the woes of families who fight to distribute the large sums of money they win in government sponsored lotteries. With the media reporting all these stories about the evils of money, it is easy to understand what led Bob Dylan to sing out that money doesn’t talk, it swears.

But in truth, money is not good or bad. It is the things we do in life to obtain money and how we use the money we obtain that matters. St Paul wrote in his letter to Timothy that it is not money itself that is an evil, but the lust for it that leads us to wander off the path:

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

People that let their lives become infected with the love of money are like the character in the John Steinbeck novel The Winter of Our Discontent who believe that “there is no such thing as just enough money. Only two measures: No Money and Not Enough Money“. Pursuing this philosophy can lead to grief when people become slaves to the acquisition and protection of their money at the expense of the more important things in their lives.

It can be easy to become deceived that money brings happiness, but we have countless examples in life that show riches and fame and power do not guarantee happiness. All you have to do is watch one of the many reality TV shows that document the drama and misery of most celebrity lives. After viewing a few of those shows, I’m thankful that I’m not rich, powerful, or famous. I think it would be difficult to live when people treat you like a god and you have to deal with the kinds of temptations that come from knowing you can have anything you want. And it must be an empty feeling to know that you have all these things yet none of them brings you happiness. I once listened to a nurse talk about a hospital in Miami that catered to very rich and famous people. She said that the number one reason why those people came to the hospital was because they were suffering from depression.

Theodore Parker acknowledged that having too much money or too little money can make life difficult when he wrote “Wealth and want equally harden the human heart“.  I’m convinced that money itself does not bring happiness, but I do realize that money does make life easier. People with means have more freedom to make choices in their life that are not available to those who are struggling to live from paycheck to paycheck. And statistics show that the well-off are better educated, have better access to health care, live in safer communities and have longer lifespans. Money, when used in the proper way, can be a good that gives people more freedom to make choices about how they will live their life and those who have it are better able to positively influence the lives of their families and promote the causes that are important to them .

In my life I have tried to live a life of integrity, living simply while using the money I have accumulated as a means to an end – not in the acquisition of things but in the accomplishments of my life’s objectives. I have been fortunate to live somewhere between wealth and want  – in that ideal middle ground that Pablo Picasso once described “…as a poor man, with lots of money“.

Here are some examples from my life that show how I attempted to avoid wandering off the path in my pursuit of money, while at the same time using the money I did make to help achieve my life goals:

• When my wife and I were newly married and just starting out, we made the collective decision that our living budget would be based on my salary alone so that she would not have to work and could stay home with our young children. That decision led us to buy a reasonably priced house with an unfinished upstairs that I could afford with my salary and finish in my spare time as the family grew and our financial condition improved.

• While the children were young, we spent money for my wife to take college classes at night so she could get a teaching degree in Early Childhood Education. As a result, when the children reached school age she was able to land a job teaching at the same private Catholic Elementary school that our children were attending. The time they shared together and the bonding that resulted during those formative growing years was priceless to us and worth all the financial sacrifices that we made.

• Throughout my career I have made it a point to avoid becoming coin-operated – chasing salary and job positions solely to earn a higher paycheck. Several times during my career I turned down promotions and other job offers that would have paid me more money, but would have resulted in more headaches, more time away from my family, and less job satisfaction.

• From my first job as a paperboy when I was 10 through all the various jobs I have had in my career, I made it a point to save a portion of my paycheck. This practice  allowed me to always have money on hand to pay for those inevitable emergencies that come up during life and to put money away to pay for my eventual retirement – so that I will not become a financial burden to my children in my old age and so that I can retire while I am still healthy and pursue other activities that interest me and will contribute to my growth.

• I allocate a percentage of my income to donate to the people, organizations, and causes that I feel are worthy or that have touched me along the way in  some way great or small. A Memorial Fund for my wife that benefits childhood education, Catholic Charities who provide services to help the poor and vulnerable, Hospice programs that comfort the dying and offer bereavement programs for their loved ones, a Conservation organization dedicated to preserving wilderness areas for the public and contributions to individual causes that come up in the course of daily life.

My objective in all the ways that I obtain and spend money is to turn Bob’s phrase around – rather than make my money swear, I try to make my money pray. A prayer to do useful and productive work in the world, a prayer to provide material comfort for my family, a prayer to help those who are in need, a prayer to assist my loved ones to reach their full potential, a prayer to preserve our world for future generations and a prayer to retire with dignity and leave a legacy for those that follow.

My prayer for you is that all the money that you receive and spend be for a blessing – and not a curse – all the days of your life.