Wear the World Lightly

There is a story I heard once about two relatives who were attending the funeral services of a wealthy family member. One of them, with a greedy glint in his eyes, leans over and whispers; “how much did he leave?“. The other looks back and responds…”All of it“. The point of the story was that when our time comes, we don’t take any of our possessions with us.

St. Francis of Assisi, who was born into a wealthy noble family, left his life of possessions and privileges to start a monastery and live a life of simplicity. His advice to those who wanted to join him was to “Wear the world like a loose garment, which touches us in a few places and there but lightly”. 

St Francis Statue

The Alcoholic Anonymous organization adopted this teaching of St Francis and shortened it to the simple phrase: Wear the World Lightly. Their 12-step program for overcoming addiction uses lots of sayings to help people detach and overcome their addictions, phrases like: live and let live, let go and let God, turn it over, easy does it, and one day at a time.

All of these statements of detachment are not intended to send a message that we should be indifferent or dead to the world, or have no feelings at all. Rather their purpose is to teach people to face the world with a kind of mindful disengagement.

It is this “detachment with love” philosophy that can help motivate people to create a peaceful space within themselves, separated from the never-ending incoming arrows of uncertainty, fear, anger, and other painful events that plague our life. Practicing detachment helps people look past the daily shocks that occur, producing a change of attitude in the mind and a physical release in the body.

To wear the world as a loose garment is to acknowledge that the world and our life will always press at us and around us, but that it does not have to touch us but “lightly”. Most things are either outside our control or ultimately unimportant. 

We do not need to grasp, manage, dwell on or react to everything that happens to us. We can choose instead to keep the world at an emotional distance so we can stay focused on doing the next right thing. It is an attitude that can relax the body and relieve the mind of the poisonous emotions that overcome us when we are confronted by the people, places or things that beset us.

To be in the world but not of it, is to live and move through life without being emotionally attached to everything that happens. Life can get hard, but those who wear the world lightly learn how to live in the world with their hardships, neither fighting them nor being crushed by them.

St Francis was essentially encouraging us to not sweat the small stuff. To not get annoyed or depressed when life does not go your way or when you do not get what you want. When you have lived long enough you come to understand that most of the things that bother us are small potatoes. Even death apparently, which the Dalai Lama described as a simple change of clothes.

I’ve heard it said that the secret to happiness as we age “is to care less and less about more and more“. The wise elders I have been fortunate to know in my life carried that attitude with them; they tended to let fewer and fewer things bother them as they got older. It’s not because they didn’t care, most likely it was just that they discovered through their life experience that it is possible to walk away, without anger or agitation, from some things they felt passionate about – and still live.

I happened across an on-line sermon about this same topic of wearing the world lightly by Bishop Robert Barron. From a spiritual point of view, Bishop Barron also believes that St Francis’ famous statement was an attempt to teach his followers about the importance of detachment – especially from the goods and achievements of the world.

Not because the world itself is bad – there are all kinds of good, true and beautiful things in the world – but because the things of the world are not the ultimate good and we are not meant to cling to them as though they were.

There are stories throughout the Bible about the futility of clinging on to earthly power, riches and glory. King Solomon is one of the greatest figures in the history of Israel from a standpoint of wealth and power. He was somebody who had it all; nobody was richer, nobody was more famous, nobody had richer palaces or clothes. But, as an old man, looking at all the possessions he has acquired over his lifetime, he says: “Vanity of vanities, all things are vanity!“.

The word vanity in Hebrew signifies something that is insubstantial and momentary, like wind or vapor or bubbles; something that is here for a brief time and then it is gone. Solomon has experienced everything: power, sensual pleasure, wisdom, honor and wealth. He has built up a reserve of wealth through his knowledge and skills and yet when he is gone, he must leave all his property to others who have not labored over it and do not deserve it.

It is not uncommon to hear complaints like this from men as they become old and infirm; “I gave my whole life to my business, I worked hard and I made a fortune. Now I’m an old man and I’m surrounded by ungrateful children and grand-children; and I’ve done all this work and yet these people are going to inherit all my wealth. What’s it all been about“?

If you live to be old enough, at some point, you finally come to realize that everything in this world has a quality of evanescence – it disappears and does not last. It is a good thing if you have been successful and built up a fortune – but it’s not going to last. Because you are going to fade away and it’s all going to go to somebody else.

Should we just be depressed then? Father Barron says no, not depressed, instead we should be detached. Our wealth, power, pleasure and the esteem of other people. It’s good. We should take it in and then let it go. We should enjoy it the way you enjoy a firework going off. Learn to live in the present moment, savoring what we can, but then letting it go.

Why? Because we come to realize that the truly good and beautiful things belong to a higher world. We can sense them in the good things of this world but none of our earthly things last and so if we cling to them, what happens is they disappear, they crumble as we try to grasp at them. Rather see them, appreciate them and then let them go.

We can get caught in an addictive pattern when we cling to the goods of the world. You worry about them so you say to yourself, oh no I better get more. Instead, we would be wise to remember the cautionary parable of the rich fool told by Jesus:

“The ground of a certain rich man brought forth abundantly. He reasoned within himself, saying, ‘What will I do, because I don’t have room to store my crops?’ He said, ‘This is what I will do. I will pull down my barns, and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. I will tell my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years. Take your ease, eat, drink, be merry.”‘ “But God said to him, ‘You fool, this very night your soul is required of you. The things which you have prepared— whose will they be?’

Luke 12:16-21

St Francis asks us to cultivate an attitude of detachment in our life. To stop clinging and hanging on to the things of the world. The more we cling to them, the more we become imprisoned by them. We’ll become bitter, angry , empty if our only focus is on the acquisition of ephemeral things. But if we practice the proper spiritual attitude of detachment and keep our eyes on the true and beautiful things that do not fade away then we will know how to handle the goods of the world as they come to us.

Fr Barron closes his sermon by emphasizing again that wealth in itself is not the problem. He points out that wealthy people can be saintly when they know how to use their wealth, how to wear it lightly and how to become generous with it. The only thing we take with us into the life to come is the quality of our love and what we’ve given away on earth. So, we should forget about trying to fill up our lives with bigger barns; true joy in life comes through building up our treasure in heaven.

The publication of this particular blog represents a milestone for me and the achievement of a goal I set for myself way back in 2013 when I posted my very first Words to Live By blog entry. I have been publishing this monthly blog for almost 10 years now and and have managed to author 100 different blog entries in that time.

I have attempted in this collection of postings to communicate ideas and philosophies that have helped me along the way and given my life direction and meaning. It has been a wonderful mental exercise for me and a labor of love that has helped me recognize things that make life interesting and wonderful. I hope my readers have discovered some of their own words to live by that will be of specific value to them in their own life.

In the spirit of “wearing the world lightly”, I plan to cut back on my blogging activities moving forward so that I am can devote more time focusing on doing the next right things in my life that will increase the quality of my love. I don’t plan to walk away from blogging completely though, as there are always more words to live by to be discovered and examined.

So, keep an eye out for the occasional future posting from me; and until then, may the blessings abound in your life.

The Dirt of Gossip Blows into my Face

Frank Sinatra was my Dad’s favorite singer and one of the most popular and influential musical artists of the 20th century, selling more than 150 million records during his long music career. His rise to fame began in the the 1940’s and lasted all the way into the 1990’s, when my Mom and Dad actually got to see him perform live on a concert stage in Worcester, MA.

Nostalgic memories of my Dad cheerfully crooning old Sinatra tunes led me to a Netflix documentary called Sinatra: All Or Nothing At All; which documents Frank’s 60 year career from its humble beginnings to his life as a music giant, touching on all the personal battles he struggled with along the way.

Francis Albert Sinatra was born in Hoboken New Jersey in 1915, the only child of Italian immigrants. His energetic and driven mother and his illiterate father were the proprietors of a tavern in Hoboken. Frank spent much of his time there after school working on his homework and singing along to the tunes on the bar’s player piano for spare change. He developed an interest in music at a young age, particularly big band jazz, and was especially influenced by the intimate easy listening vocal style of Bing Crosby.

Sinatra got his break fronting popular bandleaders Harry James and Tommy Dorsey and found success as a solo artist in 1941 when he began topping the male singer polls. His appeal to the teenage girls of that time revealed a whole new audience for popular music – which had been recorded mainly for adults up to that time. His popularity became officially known as “Sinatramania” and his bright blue eyes earned him the nickname “Ol’ Blue Eyes“.

Frank never learned how to read music, but he worked very hard to improve his singing abilities by working regularly with a vocal coach. He became known as a perfectionist, renowned for his dress sense and performing presence and insisting on recording all his songs in front of a live band.

Sinatra led a colorful personal life. He was often involved in turbulent affairs with women, had connections to Mafia bosses, and had several violent and well publicized confrontations with journalists and work bosses he felt had crossed him.

Despite the negative publicity, everyone recognized the important contributions Frank Sinatra made to society through his music. He was honored with America’s highest awards and was named by music critic Robert Christgau as “the greatest singer of the 20th century“. He died in 1998 but he remains to this day an iconic and popular figure.

In 1995 a birthday tribute, Sinatra: 80 Years My Way, was broadcast from Los Angeles featuring a star-studded cast of performers singing songs meant to honor the “Chairman of the Board“. I was surprised to learn that Bob Dylan, my favorite artist, was among the cast of performers who appeared on stage that night.

On the surface, it seems like Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan would be unlikely to have much in common. After all, they come from different generations and practiced totally different musical styles. Frank worked with a big band using his smooth velvet voice to interpret other people’s songs; while Dylan wrote and sung his own material employing his unique rough and weathered blues voice.

But the two artists had great respect for one another and if you dig deep into the life and careers of the two men it is not hard to understand why:

• Both men came from humble beginnings; Frank the son of blue collar workers and Tavern owners in Hoboken NJ and Bob the son of a Hibbing MN Appliance Store owner.
• Both were self-made men who dropped out of school to pursue their musical interests. Frank would sing for free on NY Radio stations and found jobs singing for cigarettes or his supper. Bob hitchhiked across the country singing at Folk Clubs and coffee shops for tips and crashing on friend’s couches in New York’s Greenwich Village.
• Both men had to learn how to cope with the fame and attention that comes with achieving sudden fame and popularity. Sinatra had to travel with bodyguards while Dylan learned to disguise himself in public and hide his family away from the hordes of fans who would show up at his doorstep at all hours of the day and night to ask him his opinions about politics and the meaning of life.
• Both men had a small circle of loyal friends who they trusted, both lived through a series of romantic relationships, and both were known to be moody for wanting to protect their privacy and do things their way.
• Both men spoke out against injustice. Frank publicly championed the rights of all people, regardless of race and set an example by the diverse group of people he associated with in his personal life. Bob wrote the great Civil Rights anthems of the 1960’s that encouraged passing of the landmark 1960’s Civil Rights laws.
• Both men managed to have successful musical careers for more than 60 years. One was simply referred to as “The Voice“; while the other was burdened by the press with the title of the “Voice of his Generation“.
• Both men were primarily responsible for what is known as “The Great American Songbook“. Frank’s iconic singing of the work of the great songwriters from the 1940 and 50’s led to the first Great American Songbook; while Bob Dylan’s original and poetic songs became classics and the key components of America’s second Great American Songbook.
• Both men were honored with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the Congressional Gold Medal and Grammy Lifetime Achievement Awards. Both men were included in Time Magazine’s list of the 20th century’s 100 Most Influential People.

Even though the two men were not close, it is not surprising that they would each have admiration and respect for one another – simply because of the similarities between their life experiences. Dylan once told an amusing story about the first time he met Frank which indicates the two men knew they were made of stuff that was a cut above everyone else.

“We were standing on his patio at night when he took me aside and said, ‘You and me, pal, we got blue eyes, we’re from up there,’ and he pointed to the stars. ‘These other bums are from down here.’ I remember thinking that he might be right.”

Bob Dylan relating what Frank Sinatra said to him at their first meeting

While browsing Youtube, I was happy to stumble across this [video clip] of Bob Dylan singing his song “Restless Farewell” to Frank at his 1995 80th birthday television tribute. The lyrics for this poignant song are reprinted below:

Restless Farewell by Bob Dylan

Oh, all the money that in my whole life I did spend
Be it mine right or wrongfully
I let it slip gladly to my friends
To tie up the time most forcefully
But the bottles are done
We've killed each one
And the table's full and overflowed
And the corner sign says it's closing time
So I'll bid farewell and be down the road

Oh, ev'ry girl that ever I've touched
I did not do it harmfully
And ev'ry girl that ever I've hurt
I did not do it knowin'ly
But to remain as friends you need the time
To make amends and stay behind
And since my feet are now fast
And point away from the past
I'll bid farewell and be down the line

Oh, ev'ry foe that ever I faced
The cause was there before we came
And ev'ry cause that ever I fought
I fought it full without regret or shame
But the dark does die
As the curtain is drawn and somebody's eyes 
Must meet the dawn 
And if I see the day, I'd only have to stay
So I'll bid farewell in the night and be gone

Oh, ev'ry thought that's strung a knot in my mind
I might go insane if it couldn't be sprung
But it's not to stand naked under unknowin' eyes
It's for myself and my friends my stories are sung
But the time ain't tall
Yet on time you depend and no word is possessed by no special friend
And though the line is cut, it ain't quite the end
I'll just bid farewell till we meet again

Oh, a false clock tries to tick out my time
To disgrace, distract and bother me
And the dirt of gossip blows into my face
And the dust of rumors covers me
But if the arrow is straight
And the point is slick
It can pierce through dust no matter how thick
So I'll make my stand and remain as I am
And bid farewell and not give a damn

I can’t help thinking that Bob chose to sing this particular song as a farewell because it beautifully captures the independent spirit and steadfast nature of both Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan; two men who walked in the same shoes, trying to live life to the fullest and navigating the journey on their own terms.

I believe the song captures the essence of both men. Both men lived life generously, sharing their fortune with friends, family and worthy causes. Both men loved greatly and regret past hurts to companions that can’t be undone. Both men picked up the torch to fight battles to overcome injustice, battles that must now be picked up by others. Finally, both men remained true to themselves, refusing to be swayed by public opinion or what impact their actions would have on their popularity.

The last verse is especially striking to me. As Frank Sinatra is nearing the end of his life, does he feel bewildered and bothered by a false clock that is trying to tick out his time? Does he remember all the “dirt of gossip” that blew into his face through the years or think about the “dust of rumors” that seemed to always cover him? If he does, Bob advises Frank not to give a damn about it because Frank was always a straight arrow with a sharp point and “if the arrow is straight and the point is slick it can pierce through dust no matter how thick“.

Maybe the reason both men were able to bust through the dust and dirt that swirled around their life is because when they got up to sing they had a way of capturing the universal emotions of the human spirit in a way that always felt true.

Frank expressed this exact sentiment directly when he was asked about all the gossip and innuendo that always seemed to surround him. He said; “Whatever else has been said about me personally is unimportant. When I sing, I believe I’m honest.“

So, here’s to those two restless spirits, Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan; may they live forever through their music and may their music continue to remind all of us “other bums” to bravely pursue our lives with authenticity and honesty.