Tag Archives: Honor

Wear the World Lightly

There is a story I heard once about two relatives who were attending the funeral services of a wealthy family member. One of them, with a greedy glint in his eyes, leans over and whispers; “how much did he leave?“. The other looks back and responds…”All of it“. The point of the story was that when our time comes, we don’t take any of our possessions with us.

St. Francis of Assisi, who was born into a wealthy noble family, left his life of possessions and privileges to start a monastery and live a life of simplicity. His advice to those who wanted to join him was to “Wear the world like a loose garment, which touches us in a few places and there but lightly”. 

St Francis Statue

The Alcoholic Anonymous organization adopted this teaching of St Francis and shortened it to the simple phrase: Wear the World Lightly. Their 12-step program for overcoming addiction uses lots of sayings to help people detach and overcome their addictions, phrases like: live and let live, let go and let God, turn it over, easy does it, and one day at a time.

All of these statements of detachment are not intended to send a message that we should be indifferent or dead to the world, or have no feelings at all. Rather their purpose is to teach people to face the world with a kind of mindful disengagement.

It is this “detachment with love” philosophy that can help motivate people to create a peaceful space within themselves, separated from the never-ending incoming arrows of uncertainty, fear, anger, and other painful events that plague our life. Practicing detachment helps people look past the daily shocks that occur, producing a change of attitude in the mind and a physical release in the body.

To wear the world as a loose garment is to acknowledge that the world and our life will always press at us and around us, but that it does not have to touch us but “lightly”. Most things are either outside our control or ultimately unimportant. 

We do not need to grasp, manage, dwell on or react to everything that happens to us. We can choose instead to keep the world at an emotional distance so we can stay focused on doing the next right thing. It is an attitude that can relax the body and relieve the mind of the poisonous emotions that overcome us when we are confronted by the people, places or things that beset us.

To be in the world but not of it, is to live and move through life without being emotionally attached to everything that happens. Life can get hard, but those who wear the world lightly learn how to live in the world with their hardships, neither fighting them nor being crushed by them.

St Francis was essentially encouraging us to not sweat the small stuff. To not get annoyed or depressed when life does not go your way or when you do not get what you want. When you have lived long enough you come to understand that most of the things that bother us are small potatoes. Even death apparently, which the Dalai Lama described as a simple change of clothes.

I’ve heard it said that the secret to happiness as we age “is to care less and less about more and more“. The wise elders I have been fortunate to know in my life carried that attitude with them; they tended to let fewer and fewer things bother them as they got older. It’s not because they didn’t care, most likely it was just that they discovered through their life experience that it is possible to walk away, without anger or agitation, from some things they felt passionate about – and still live.

I happened across an on-line sermon about this same topic of wearing the world lightly by Bishop Robert Barron. From a spiritual point of view, Bishop Barron also believes that St Francis’ famous statement was an attempt to teach his followers about the importance of detachment – especially from the goods and achievements of the world.

Not because the world itself is bad – there are all kinds of good, true and beautiful things in the world – but because the things of the world are not the ultimate good and we are not meant to cling to them as though they were.

There are stories throughout the Bible about the futility of clinging on to earthly power, riches and glory. King Solomon is one of the greatest figures in the history of Israel from a standpoint of wealth and power. He was somebody who had it all; nobody was richer, nobody was more famous, nobody had richer palaces or clothes. But, as an old man, looking at all the possessions he has acquired over his lifetime, he says: “Vanity of vanities, all things are vanity!“.

The word vanity in Hebrew signifies something that is insubstantial and momentary, like wind or vapor or bubbles; something that is here for a brief time and then it is gone. Solomon has experienced everything: power, sensual pleasure, wisdom, honor and wealth. He has built up a reserve of wealth through his knowledge and skills and yet when he is gone, he must leave all his property to others who have not labored over it and do not deserve it.

It is not uncommon to hear complaints like this from men as they become old and infirm; “I gave my whole life to my business, I worked hard and I made a fortune. Now I’m an old man and I’m surrounded by ungrateful children and grand-children; and I’ve done all this work and yet these people are going to inherit all my wealth. What’s it all been about“?

If you live to be old enough, at some point, you finally come to realize that everything in this world has a quality of evanescence – it disappears and does not last. It is a good thing if you have been successful and built up a fortune – but it’s not going to last. Because you are going to fade away and it’s all going to go to somebody else.

Should we just be depressed then? Father Barron says no, not depressed, instead we should be detached. Our wealth, power, pleasure and the esteem of other people. It’s good. We should take it in and then let it go. We should enjoy it the way you enjoy a firework going off. Learn to live in the present moment, savoring what we can, but then letting it go.

Why? Because we come to realize that the truly good and beautiful things belong to a higher world. We can sense them in the good things of this world but none of our earthly things last and so if we cling to them, what happens is they disappear, they crumble as we try to grasp at them. Rather see them, appreciate them and then let them go.

We can get caught in an addictive pattern when we cling to the goods of the world. You worry about them so you say to yourself, oh no I better get more. Instead, we would be wise to remember the cautionary parable of the rich fool told by Jesus:

“The ground of a certain rich man brought forth abundantly. He reasoned within himself, saying, ‘What will I do, because I don’t have room to store my crops?’ He said, ‘This is what I will do. I will pull down my barns, and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. I will tell my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years. Take your ease, eat, drink, be merry.”‘ “But God said to him, ‘You fool, this very night your soul is required of you. The things which you have prepared— whose will they be?’

Luke 12:16-21

St Francis asks us to cultivate an attitude of detachment in our life. To stop clinging and hanging on to the things of the world. The more we cling to them, the more we become imprisoned by them. We’ll become bitter, angry , empty if our only focus is on the acquisition of ephemeral things. But if we practice the proper spiritual attitude of detachment and keep our eyes on the true and beautiful things that do not fade away then we will know how to handle the goods of the world as they come to us.

Fr Barron closes his sermon by emphasizing again that wealth in itself is not the problem. He points out that wealthy people can be saintly when they know how to use their wealth, how to wear it lightly and how to become generous with it. The only thing we take with us into the life to come is the quality of our love and what we’ve given away on earth. So, we should forget about trying to fill up our lives with bigger barns; true joy in life comes through building up our treasure in heaven.

The publication of this particular blog represents a milestone for me and the achievement of a goal I set for myself way back in 2013 when I posted my very first Words to Live By blog entry. I have been publishing this monthly blog for almost 10 years now and and have managed to author 100 different blog entries in that time.

I have attempted in this collection of postings to communicate ideas and philosophies that have helped me along the way and given my life direction and meaning. It has been a wonderful mental exercise for me and a labor of love that has helped me recognize things that make life interesting and wonderful. I hope my readers have discovered some of their own words to live by that will be of specific value to them in their own life.

In the spirit of “wearing the world lightly”, I plan to cut back on my blogging activities moving forward so that I am can devote more time focusing on doing the next right things in my life that will increase the quality of my love. I don’t plan to walk away from blogging completely though, as there are always more words to live by to be discovered and examined.

So, keep an eye out for the occasional future posting from me; and until then, may the blessings abound in your life.


The Life of the Dead is Placed in the Heart of the Living

My uncle Rheo served in the Navy during World War II, but he died prior to the creation of the National Veteran Cemeteries which are funded by the Department of Veteran Affairs to honor the men and women who have honorably served the United States during the nations wars. He ended up being buried in a single plot at his local town cemetery.

Three of his brothers (Roger, Romeo and Andrew) also served in the military, but because they died at a later date they were provided a full military funeral and no-charge burial at a Massachusetts Veterans Cemetery. This never seemed fair to our extended family, so this summer we initiated a process to have my Uncle Rheo disinterred from his burial location and moved to the Veteran’s Cemetery – where he could be laid to rest in the presence of his brothers and among his fellow servicemen.

Having written before about the important role my Uncle Rheo had in my life, the family asked me if I would speak at his memorial ceremony. I have included a copy of my eulogy for this much loved man below – I hope all my readers were blessed to grow up with a similar loving presence in their lives.

A Celebration of Life: Rheo Gilbert Meunier (1923 – 1984)

Rheo Gilbert Meunier (1923 – 1984)

I’m honored to stand up here today to speak about my beloved Uncle Rheo. I was only 24 years old when he died in 1984 but I can honestly say that not a week has gone by in the 37 years since he passed away when I haven’t thought about him.

He was a giant of a man in so many ways – someone who was bigger than life, blessed with an infectious smile and that big Meunier heart. I can just picture him now, beaming down at us, happy to see everyone gathered here today and happy to be resting with his brothers.

It was my good fortune that my mother chose her big brother Rheo to be my Godfather. Rheo was one of those rare Godparents who took his role seriously. His relationship with me did not end after the baptism ceremony – it was only starting. He became an important part of my life and a model to me of Christian living, showing me by his words, actions and friendship what it meant to be a good man.

He packed a lot of living into his shortened life, growing up on a small family farm with his 5 brothers and two sisters during the hard days of the Great Depression. His formal education ended when he was 12, cut short so he could stay home to help his father run the farm. He grew into a strong, handsome and strapping young man from all his strenuous labor.

He was part of the Greatest Generation, enlisting in the Navy in 1942 when he was just 19 years old and serving four years fighting for his country during World War II; seeing action in the North Atlantic and doing tours patrolling the Suez Canal and the Russian coast.

When he returned from the war, he was able to land a good job working as an electrical lineman. He ended up working at the Municipal Light Company in Templeton for 36 years – rising through the ranks to the position of Foreman.

He was a victim of a freak accident while working on the job early in his career. He was strapped high on a telephone pole trying to repair a downed wire when the pole snapped in half crashing to the ground with Rheo still attached.

It was a testament to his strength and determination that he managed to survive that tragic event. He slowly recovered his strength and regained much of his athleticism – however he did suffer some permanent internal damage to his body that would bother him throughout his life.

But it was not in his nature to complain about his bad luck or to let unfortunate circumstances dampen his spirits. He was a glass half-full kind of guy; someone who always saw the sunny side of life. Despite his situation we always saw him smiling, laughing, energetic and full of life.

He was a man of action with plenty of money to buy toys like convertible sport cars, motorcycles, cabin cruiser boats and snowmobiles; and to take skiing vacations in the Swiss Alps, scuba diving excursions in Hawaii, fishing expeditions to Cape Cod and river rafting & hiking adventures in Colorado.

Despite his James Bond lifestyle that we envied so much he always had time to spend with his extended family. He made it a point to visit with each of his seven siblings every few weeks just to stay in touch with their lives and to show interest in the activities of his 34 nephews and nieces.

I always thought it was a shame he didn’t have a family of his own, but as I look back on it now, I realize he actually had the biggest family of us all. He often said that he loved his nephews and nieces so much, he didn’t feel the need to have children of his own.

And his nephews and nieces adored him too. Looking forward to his visits when he would tell them interesting stories about his exotic travels, share with them his talent for yodeling or take them on exciting adventures and outings.

He would also generously volunteer to lend a hand whenever friends or family needed help. I remember him coming to our house one day when I was a young boy to help install electrical wiring at our house.

I shadowed him while he went about his work and while he patiently explained to me what he was doing and showing me all the tools he was using and how they worked. I was fascinated and think the experience kindled in me my interest in electricity and electronics which later led to my career as an engineer.

When his father passed away, Rheo became the primary caretaker of his mother. Rheo agreed to live with her, support her and take care of her so that she could continue to stay in the home she so loved.

In his 60th year he suffered a tragic series of events that contributed to his death from a sudden and massive heart attack. The first event occurred near Christmas in 1983. While he was out working late at night helping to restore power outages in the town, his Mother accidentally started a fire while trying to cook a ham for the family holiday dinner. His mother perished while trying to put out the fire and Rheo lost his mother, his home and most of his earthly possessions that night.

Then, in the space of two months’ time, Rheo’s brother-in-law passed away, his best friend lost his business to a fire and the Camp he owned was destroyed. The stress and grief were too much for his heart to take and led to his fatal heart attack in March of 1984.

The packed Church and military honors bestowed on him at his funeral showed how he was loved and respected by his community and family. I was honored to be one of the pallbearers selected to carry his casket; along with seven of his other beloved nephews.

Although he was a religious man and regularly attended Sunday Services at his local church, he never lectured me about religion or preached to me about God. I did learn, however, so much about morality from what I saw him do.

Whenever he saw me, he would make it a point to sit with me, look into my eyes and take a genuine interest in learning about what was happening in my life. On my birthdays he would give me a card and some money or a cool gift; on Easter he would give me my own chocolate bunny to enjoy; for my 1st Communion he gave me a Savings Bond.

Beyond that, he would go out of his way to spend time with me during the year. Rides in his convertible car with the top down to get ice cream, snowmobile rides through his snowy woods and ocean fishing trips in his cabin cruiser boat. He was a perfect role model for a young boy growing up and learning about the world

And not just me! The funny thing is that, at the time, I thought I was special, but listening to everybody’s remembrances of Rheo after he was gone made me realize that he did these kinds of things for everybody – he had that quality that made everyone feel special!

Even in death, his generous spirit was still being revealed as he left money in his will for all of his brothers and sisters. My parents were grateful that they were able to invest the inheritance they received from him to help them in their later years.

One of the most precious gifts I ever received was Rheo’s gold Swiss watch – which my mother was able to obtain and give to me after he passed away. I treasured that watch for many years and would always wear it on special occasions and think of him.

I decided to give this watch as a gift to my sister Linda’s son Rheo (who was named after his Great Uncle) when he celebrated his sacrament of Confirmation because I could see in him a glimmer of the same spirit that drove his namesake great uncle.

Emily Dickinson, the writer, once wrote the words: “Of our greatest acts we are ignorant” to a friend of hers who was unaware that his interest and encouragement in her work had saved her life.  I don’t think my Uncle Rheo ever thought he was doing any great acts for me and he was probably unaware of the positive impact he had on my life.

I regret that because of his sudden death I never got the opportunity to tell him about the great acts he did for me, how important he was in my life and how grateful I was for all that I had learned from him.

I guess it is a lesson for us all to take the time while we still can to tell the people we love how much they mean to us and; like Rheo, to be a similar loving presence touching the lives of the people in our life in a positive way.

There is a saying that the life of the dead is placed in the heart of the living and I like to think that Rheo is still with us in a way. I see glimpses of him in the wide Meunier clan. A little bit of him lives on in each one of us who knew him; and through us, I think a little bit of him has also been passed on to the next generation too.

So, let’s celebrate the memory of Rheo Meunier, for his well lived life, for the loving spirit he brought to the world and for all the good deeds he did. Today we remember and honor his legacy as we welcome him to his final resting place.

A Prayer of Benediction for Rheo Meunier

Eternal God and Father, we praise you that you have made people to share life together and to reflect your glory in the world. We thank you especially now for our beloved brother, uncle and friend; Rheo Meunier whom we come here to remember today, for all that we saw in him of your goodness and love during his life and for all that he has meant to us.

Grant, O Lord that Rheo may sleep in eternal peace here in his new resting place. May it be a place of solace, of peaceful rest and glorious light. May he see your face and know the splendor of God and may his soul live in unending fellowship with you.

We ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen


Memorable and Admirable

In an attempt to make more meaningful the days I have left, I have started a practice that I call Memorable & Admirable. It is a pretty simple practice; when I turn in for the evening, I lie in bed and think back over my day and I ask myself two questions:

  • Did I do anything today that was memorable?
  • Did I do anything today that was admirable?

On a good day I can usually single out one or two events that happened during the course of my day that I considered to be memorable and/or admirable.

But on many nights I do struggle to identify even a single memorable or admirable event that occurred during the course of my day. On those nights, I regret the day’s lost opportunities and find myself making resolutions to do a better job tomorrow.

All of us live with unforgettable memories; our first kiss, our graduation from college, our first job, our wedding day, the birth of our first child and grandchild. Those once-in-a-lifetime events have a powerful emotional impact on us because they enrich our life, bond us to others and help to define who we are.

Those big moments occur so rarely that they become burned into our memories. Research shows that most older people, when they look back on their lives, recall most of their big memories happening between the ages of 15 and 30 – a very narrow window that comprises less than 20% of the average lifespan. 

Is it because our memory is sharper when we are younger? No. It’s because most of us settle into a routine by our 30’s and life begins to lose its zest. I am typical I suppose, being in my 60’s, and finding it difficult to recall many memorable life events that occurred in my late 30’s.

It is easy to get trapped into a routine where habit begins to take over our lives. One day follows another, one month rolls into the next, we get lazy following comfortable patterns – and then before you know it, the calendar rolls over to a new year and we find ourselves wondering where the time went. The months and years begin to blur together because nothing new and shiny happens in our life.

I have learned that if you want to slow down time, you have to work at creating memories – you cannot leave it to chance. Chip Heath, a professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business, and co-author of the book The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact provides suggestions on how people can inject novelty into their life and create experiences that become both memorable and meaningful.

Stimulate the Senses

Engaging our senses can make moments stand out more intensely. This is why concerts, museums and great meals stick in our memories and why sitting on the couch is so forgettable.

I remember, as if it was yesterday, standing 5 feet from the stage watching Bob Dylan play the piano and sing his Gospel song “Pressing On” in a small Worcester Auditorium when I was just 21 years old; and 36 years later listening to the wall of inspired sound created by Neil Young & Crazy Horse as they rocked a packed Boston concert audience.

I also have lasting memories from my youth of tasting fresh rhubarb, carrots and tomatoes right out of the garden; and when I was much older, of eating scorpions, chicken feet, drunken prawns, pepper crab and Schweinsbraten during my frequent international business trips.

When our bodies are stimulated by our faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste, or touch – our brains work overtime to record the experience.

Raise the Stakes

Memories are more readily made when we participate in activities where we have something to gain or lose. Competing in a sporting event is more exciting than watching one and betting on a sporting event makes watching it more entertaining.

I remember tension-filled Dart tournaments where my performance made the difference between my team winning or losing the league trophy; as well as pleasant days spent at the race track with my father, studying the racing program and being thrilled when the dog I picked won their race.

Celebrating winning the Pitch card tournament

And of course, there are the trunk full of memories I have from the family’s annual pressure-packed Pitch tournaments – the winners of which are crowned the reigning Pitch King & Queen with their names enshrined on the tournament jersey entitling them to bragging rights throughout the year. Every year the family has fun reminiscing about the exploits of past card tournaments.

When the stakes are raised, people pay attention.

Break the Script

In order to get past the routine autopilot of our day to day lives, we have to do something that will break the script. When we do something different we defy expectations and surprise people.

Chip Heath, in his book, described how Southwest Airlines broke the script when they changed the wording of their flight safety announcement. One of the lines they added was:

If you should get to use the life vest in a real-life situation, the vest is yours to keep.

People loved it and it got the typically distracted passengers to break off whatever they were doing and listen more closely to the safety announcement. Southwest reported that those who heard the new messages actually flew more, resulting in an extra $140 million per year in revenue for the company.

Breaking the script can produce delightful moments.

One such delightful moment in my life occurred because I happened to invite my wife to go trout fishing with my Dad and I. We had been fishing buddies for more than 40 years and we had a well-worn routine consisting of which separate stretches of the river we would fish and what we would pack for lunch (usually peanut butter crackers and a beer).

We broke the script by adding my wife to the mix. Her addition encouraged us to all fish together and when it came time for lunch she surprised us with a gourmet picnic comprised of cheese and crackers, shrimp, lobster sandwiches and wine. I’ll never forget my Dad’s eyes twinkling with mirth and bemusement as we sat on the blanket sipping our wine next to the singing river.

Celebrate Milestones

The best way to commemorate achievements is to celebrate them – especially with the people you like most. Research shows that our accomplishments take on increased meaning when we take the time to appreciate what we’ve accomplished.

So do something to celebrate those birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions, retirements, etc. Don’t save the celebration for big events only.

Celebrating a silly milestones can be an effective way to “break the script” so that an event becomes even more memorable. My friend, who is a New York Yankees fan, used to have a 1918 party every year celebrating the last time the Boston Red Sox had won the World Series (fortunately he had to stop hosting that party in 2004).

For good measure, we can also set goals for ourselves that will lead to milestones we can celebrate at some point in the future. Doing that motivates us to achieve our goals and it leads to moments of pride that we will be able to celebrate in the future.

Overcoming Adversity

Why do armies put their recruits through high ordeal boot camp training and why do fraternities subject their pledges to harsh hazing? It is because struggling strengthens the bonds between people and experiencing adversity forms strong memory attachments in the brain.

I have vivid memories of all the crazy and senseless things I was asked to do when I pledged my college fraternity more than 42 years ago, but I have kept in contact with my fraternity “brothers” throughout all those years and we have fun reminiscing fondly about those youthful days.

For many years I was a volunteer member of a prison ministry team. We would spend exhausting 3-Day weekends conducting spiritual retreats inside Massachusetts, New York and New Hampshire State Prison facilities.

It was hard work and the preparation was very time consuming, but some of the most spiritual moments of my life came while witnessing the prisoners and my ministry teammates share their faith stories over the course of the retreat.

So adversity can be a blessing if you want to create lasting memories – especially if you go through it with somebody else. You will be surprised how often you will look back fondly on times that you worked to help others fulfill their dreams – even though it seemed like a chore at the time.

Build Moments of Connection

For most people, it’s relationships with the people we love that brings us the most happiness. Vacations, reunions and holidays are ideal times to create moments of connection that will deepen our relationships with others.

To celebrate my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary in 2008 my siblings rented a beautiful Lake House and the whole family spent the week celebrating the love my parents had for each other and the loving sacrifices they made to raise 8 children.

Each of their children read a heartfelt letter honoring them and thanking them for all the happy memories and life lessons we learned from them while growing up.

The week spent together was magical; filled with fishing, peaceful boat rides, lobster and clam bakes, competitive kickball and card games, marriage renewal vows and joyous dancing. We formed a deep connection with one another during that week and it resulted in a lifetime of memories.

Moments of connection can be built on a large scale, like that Anniversary party or on a much smaller, but still meaningful scale. One such meaningful connection for me was when my teenage daughter was given a school assignment to bake a loaf of bread.

I was happy when she asked me to assist her with the project because it gave me an opportunity to spend meaningful time with her and to bond doing something together (plus I learned how to bake bread!).

Finally, you can build connections with others even if you don’t really know them. My wife, who works for a Hospice agency, told me about the time Bill Atkinson, a member of the NH Police Association Pipes and Drums and a Captain with Nashua Fire Rescue, came to the Community Hospice House and stood outside the facility playing a bagpipe concert for the patients and staff. The music could be heard from all four corners of the house – and you can bet that the staff and those residents facing life’s end were bonded in a holy moment of spiritual connection.

Admirable moments can also be memorable moments but not necessarily – and I think that is how it should be in most cases. We should do admirable things because it helps to make the world a better place – not because we are trying to create memories.

When I take inventory of my day, asking myself if I did anything that was admirable, my mind searches for moments when I went out of my way to do something that was unselfish, considered someone else’s needs rather than my own or made sacrifices to better myself or others.

Participating in these moments of introspection has led me to wonder about which character traits society as a whole should consider admirable. The ones that come most often to my mind are:

  • Honesty & Integrity – Try my best to be honest with myself and others. Be true to my word. Take ownership of my faults and failings.
  • Humility & Modesty –  Remember that life is fragile and my time on earth is brief. In the vast scheme of things I am just a simple, insignificant person. Don’t brag about my accomplishments – act more, talk less.
  • Compassion – Imagine yourself in the other’s person’s shoes. Treat others the way you would like yourself to be treated.
  • Discipline & Hard Work – Good things come to those who are disciplined and willing to work hard. Fight the urge for instant gratification by pursuing long term satisfaction.
  • Courage – When we face trouble and problems in our life, it is natural to look for an easy way out. A person with courage tackles adversity head-on, not shrinking from the hard road, no matter where it leads.
  • Leadership – It takes a special person to stand up and give direction to others. 
  • Humor – Don’t take life too seriously – try to laugh at yourself and the things around you once in a while.

Each of us may have a different list of qualities that we consider admirable, that is OK and that is what contributes to making different people so interesting. The point is that it is important for all of us to subscribe to a set of admirable ethics and to look for opportunities to practice them every day.

So good luck creating memories and practicing admirable acts in your life. I hope you will find that you also benefit from the happy side-effect I started experiencing when I began concentrating on my days memorable and admirable events at bedtime: Peaceful Dreams!


The Forever War

Given the significant number of wars that America has been involved in during the last century, I consider it an act of divine providence and supreme good fortune that my immediate family has never been directly touched by war.

Five of my uncles served honorably in the European and Pacific theaters of World War II, but fate was kind to them as they all returned home safely when so many others didn’t. My father saw many of his friends shipped out to fight that war, but he graduated from high school in the Fall of 1946, a year after the 1945 surrender of the German and Japanese armies, when the victorious American soldiers were in the process of coming back home.

The great war of my generation was Vietnam – a near 20 year conflict that began in 1955 in the southeast Asia countries of Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia and ended with the fall of Saigon in 1975 and the reunification of North and South Vietnam in 1976.

It was the second of what were called the Indochina Wars. In the first Indochina War, an independence coalition of Vietnamese fighters called the Viet-Minh, with military support from China and the Soviet Union, successfully drove their French Colonial occupiers out of Vietnam in 1954.

The second Indochina war (called the Vietnam War by those in the West) began in 1955 as a conflict between the United States-backed South Vietnamese Democratic government and the Communist North Vietnamese government consisting of the Viet Cong, North Vietnamese Army (NVA) and the National Liberation Front.

The North Vietnamese army was supported by the Soviet Union, China, and other communist allies; the South Vietnamese army was supported by the United States, South Korea, Australia, Thailand and other anti-communist allies. 

The U.S. government viewed its involvement in the war as a way to prevent a communist takeover of South Vietnam. They justified their actions under a containment policy whose intent was to prevent countries in the region from falling like dominoes under the influence and control of China and the Soviet Union – Cold War enemies of the American government who were actively trying to spread their communist forms of government throughout the region.

More than 3 million Americans served in the Vietnam War, some 1.5 million of whom actually saw combat. At the peak of the war in 1968 there were 543,000 American military personnel serving in Vietnam. The war exacted a large cost in terms of fatalities and injuries. By war’s end, 58,220 American soldiers had been killed, more than 150,000 had been wounded, and at least 21,000 had been permanently disabled.

In addition, an estimated 175,000 Americans left for Canada or deserted to avoid serving in Vietnam and approximately 830,000 Vietnam veterans suffered some degree of post-traumatic stress disorder when they returned home.

I remember having to register with the Selective Service when I turned 18 in 1978, but by that time the Vietnam war was over and America was still recovering from the painful memories of the conflict and loath to commit the country to any new conflicts.

My three older brothers did come of fighting age during the Vietnam war, turning 18 in 1968, 1971 and 1972 but they did not get drafted to serve. My oldest brother was sheltered by attending a Maritime college and signing up for the Reserves, the two middle brothers were protected by a Nixon administration policy called Vietnamization that went into effect in 1970. That policy shifted the burden of the war to the native ground forces of the South Vietnam army rather than the U.S. Army. Vietnamization resulted in a gradual eight-fold reduction of U.S. troop levels over three years (from 549,000 in 1969 to 69,000 in 1972).

My decision to select the topic of Vietnam as this month’s blog entry was driven by two recent experiences: watching Ken Burn’s emotional ten part documentary on the Vietnam war, coupled with the reading of a military science fiction novel called The Forever War.

Vietnam War

The Forever War tells the story of soldiers from a future Earth who are fighting a war between Earthlings and an alien species called the Taurans. The book was written by Joe Haldeman and was inspired by his own experiences serving as a combat engineer in the Vietnam War. Haldeman was wounded in battle, awarded the Purple Heart for valor and struggled to adjust to civilian life after returning home. He learned to cope by becoming an award winning writer of books and screenplays, even writing two of the early Star Trek episodes.

Forever War

There are many lessons to be learned from this complex war. Each lesson probably warrants its own separate blog, but I have tried to summarize below the thoughts and observations about the Vietnam War that occurred to me as I immersed myself in the book and television documentary over the last month.

A Flawed Policy Leads to Tragedy

The logic behind the U.S. containment policy that was first used to justify American involvement in Vietnam was flawed from the outset. The North Vietnamese and National Liberation Front were not really fighting for Communism. They viewed the struggle against the Americans, and the French before them, as a fight for their liberation and the right to independently govern Vietnam without interference from other foreign countries.

If America had not been so blinded by the Cold War mentality and fear of Communism that was prevalent at that time, the whole tragedy of the war might have been avoided. Maybe instead we would have had sympathy with the Vietnamese cause to re-unite their country and throw off the bonds of colonialism and imperialism that had ruled their country for over a century – just as America fought their own Revolutionary and Civil wars to give their people a right to rule their own country.

Congressional Abdication

The U.S. Congress abdicated their oversight responsibility in managing the Vietnam war when they passed the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution in 1964, authorizing the president to “take all necessary measures, including the use of armed force” against any aggressor in the conflict.

This resolution essentially gave Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon unfettered power to escalate the war at will, inevitably leading to increasing numbers of U.S. ground troops and bombing campaigns – despite increasing opposition to the war from the country and its elected leaders.

Incompetent Military Leadership

The American military command, led by General William Westmoreland, implemented a strategy of attrition – attempting to drain the enemy of manpower and supplies via relentless strategic bombing and attacks of fortified North Vietnamese positions.

Westmoreland reported to the President that the strategy was winning the war, but it was clear on the ground that the strategy was failing because the large scale casualties being inflicted on non-combatants were turning our South Vietnamese allies against us, undermining support for the war at home and increasing the will of the North Vietnamese to fight harder.

Furthermore, the American soldiers were given what they felt were pointless missions and assignments. They were told to attack heavily fortified enemy positions, suffering great losses while driving the enemy out and securing the target; only to have the enemy melt back away across the border to Cambodia and Laos. As soon as the American’s left, the enemy would just return and take up the same positions again.

Ike was Right

President Dwight Eisenhower, in his 1961 farewell address to the American people, warned about the dangers of the informal alliance between the nation’s military, defense industry and congressional leaders. He worried the vested interest they have with one another would adversely influence public policy – leading to wars from which they could profit.

Eisenhower said; “We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military–industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists, and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes.

Despite Ike’s warnings, the Vietnam war indeed gained momentum by being promoted by America’s military-industrial-congressional alliance. The U.S. spent more than $1 Trillion (in 2015 dollars) fighting the Vietnam war, much of that money lining the pockets of the defense industries and Congressional lobbyists. The amount of money spent on the war was three times what the U.S. spent on education and would have been enough to pay off the mortgage of every homeowner in the country at that time.

Bob Dylan’s song Master’s of War, which he wrote about the same time that Eisenhower was giving his farewell speech, plays in the background of the Vietnam documentary during a scene when the narrator discusses how the government conspired to hide bad news about the progress of the war, while at the same time labeling those who supported the war as patriotic and those who did not as traitors.

Masters of War – Bob Dylan

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin’
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it’s your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
Then you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

You fasten all the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
While young people’s blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

Be Careful what You Measure

When you can’t measure the things that are important, you make the things you can measure important. The statistic that the American military decided to use as a metric to prove that their war of attrition was being won was “Kill Ratio“. An arbitrary and ambitious kill ratio goal of 10:1 was set by the U.S. high command (10 North Vietnamese soldiers killed for every 1 American).  The goal was to kill the enemy faster than they could be replaced.

When the American company commanders learned that their units were failing to achieve their designated kill ratio metric, some of them encouraged their units to increase the body count by killing any Vietnamese that moved (regardless of whether they were enemies or allies, soldiers or non-combatants).

The very act of measuring something affects human behavior and American leaders should have realized that the number of Vietnamese killed was sure to rise one way or another once this metric was put in place – and that it would likely lead to atrocities and wide-scale killing of the innocent. A better measure in my opinion would have been the number of bodies that were NOT being killed.

Racism 101, Turning the Subject into an Object

Before they went into battle Americans were trained to to see the enemy as less than human. If you don’t see them as people, maybe you won’t hesitate to kill them. After  his first kill, John Musgrave, an American Marine who emerges as one of the most brutally honest voices in the Vietnam film, struggled mightily with his conscience and made what he called his deal with the devil.

He told himself “I will never kill another human being as long as I’m in Vietnam. However, I will waste as many gooks as I can. I’ll wax as many dinks as I can find [slang derogitive terms U.S. soldiers used for the Vietnamese people] … but I ain’t going to kill anybody. I turned the subject into an object. It’s Racism 101. And it turns out to be a very necessary tool when you have children fighting your wars, for them to stay sane doing their work.”

That comment in the film by John Musgrave reminded me of a similar sentiment expressed in a passage of The Forever War, where the author describes the conflicting emotions that were felt by the soldiers who were asked to kill.

In the scene the military force from Earth lands on an alien planet in search of an enemy Tauran species, who they have never actually seen. They encounter a herd of strange looking animals, that are curious but not threatening. Here is an excerpt from the book:

“When I give the word, open fire. Shoot to kill.” “But, Sarge, they’re just animals”. “If you’ve known all this time what a Tauran looks like you should have told us. Shoot to kill.” I felt my gorge rising and knew that all my training hadn’t prepared me for this sudden reality… that I had a magic wand that I could point at a life and make it a smoking piece of half-raw meat. I wasn’t a soldier nor ever wanted to be one.

“Maybe some of you feel the way Potter evidently does, maybe some of your men feel that way… that we ought to go easy, not to make this so much of a bloodbath. Mercy is a luxury, a weakness we can’t afford to indulge in at this stage of the war. All we know about the enemy is that they have killed 708 humans… they are responsible for all the lives of your comrades who have died and who are surely going to die today. I can’t understand anybody who wants to spare them. But that doesn’t make a difference. You have your orders and you might as well know that all of you have a post-hypnotic suggestion that I will trigger by a phrase, just before the battle. It will make your job easier.”

While my conscious mind was rejecting the silliness, somewhere much deeper, down in that sleeping animal where we keep our real motives and morals, something was thirsting for alien blood, secure in the conviction that the noblest thing a man could do would be to die killing one of those horrible monsters…”

…it was murder, unadorned butchery – we hadn’t been in any danger. The Taurans hadn’t seemed to have any conception of person-to-person fighting. We had just herded them up and slaughtered them, the first encounter between mankind and another intelligent species. What might have happened if we had sat down and tried to communicate. I spent a long time after that telling myself over and over that it hadn’t been me who so gleefully carved up those frightened, stampeding creatures. Back in the Twentieth century, they had established to everybody’s satisfaction that “I was just following orders” was an adequate excuse for inhuman contact. I was disgusted with the human race, disgusted with the army and horrified at the prospect of living with myself for another century or so…

Most Soldiers Served Honorably

It’s unfortunate that most of the American soldiers who returned home from Vietnam were not treated with the respect or honor that was bestowed on veterans of other American wars. They were victims of the unpopularity of the war and of the nightly news cycle that focused on a minority of the soldiers and units that committed war crimes.

Soldiers were victims too. Many went over there voluntarily to serve their country and were put in an impossible situation. Failure of government and military leadership at all levels, politicians who continued the war for selfish personal reasons, who did not want to admit they were wrong and were afraid of losing their popularity in the polls.

The reality is that the vast majority of American soldiers who were sent to Vietnam loved their country and did their best to serve their time with distinction and honor. In the documentary, Army veteran Vincent Okamoto remembers the men in the infantry company he led in 1968:

It’s almost going to make me cry – nineteen-, twenty-year-old high school dropouts that came from the lowest socioeconomic rung of American society . . . they didn’t have the escape routes that the elite and the wealthy and the privileged had . . . but to see these kids, who had the least to gain . . . they weren’t going be rewarded for their service in Vietnam. And yet their infinite patience, their loyalty to each other, their courage under fire, was just phenomenal. And you would ask yourself: how does America produce young men like this?

What Price Victory?

Officially, the North Vietnamese army were the victors. After 20 years of fighting, the U.S. withdrew their forces and support from South Vietnam and within a matter of months the forces of the North Vietnamese overwhelmed South Vietnam and re-unified the country under the banner of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam.

But North Vietnam paid a terrible price for their “victory”. Estimates of the number of Vietnamese soldiers and civilians killed during the conflict vary from 966,000 to 3.8 million. The documentary captures Lo Khac Tam, a General in the North Vietnamese army saying; “The war we fought was so horribly brutal. I don’t have words to describe it. I worry, how can we ever explain to the younger generation the price their parents and grandparents paid?

For Bao Ninh, a foot soldier in the North Vietnamese Army, who became a celebrated novelist after the war, the official public narrative celebrating their great, noble victory rings hollow: “People sing about victory, about liberation. They’re wrong. Who won and who lost is not a question. In war, no one wins or loses. There is only destruction. Only those who have never fought like to argue about who won and who lost.

The Vietnam War caused a deep rift in the fabric of American society and the debate regarding what conclusions and lessons should be drawn from the war continues to be discussed even today, 40 years after the conclusion of the war.

I like to believe that it is a healthy thing because as long as the war is remembered, it will be less likely that America will make policy decisions in the future that repeat the same mistakes of the past. Ultimately, the meaning and great purpose of this controversial war may be that it helps to make war in the future less likely.

At the conclusion of The Forever War, Sargent Mandela returns to Earth 100 years after his battle with the Tauran’s only to find when he is awakened from suspended animation that the war is over. He is curious to know how it all ended so he does some research to find the truth.

I think it is fitting to close with the passage from the book where Mandela summarizes the conclusions that were drawn about the factors that conspired to create the forever war.

The 1143-year long war had been begun on false pretenses and only continued because the two races were unable to communicate. Once the races could talk, the first question they asked was “Why did you start this thing?’ and the answer was “Me?”

The Taurans hadn’t known war for millenia, and toward the beginning of the 21st century it looked as though mankind was ready to outgrow the institution as well. But the old soldiers were still around, and many of them were in positions of power.

Many of mankind’s early ships met with accidents and disappeared. The ex-military men were suspicious and started arming the colonizing vessels who ended up blasting the first Tauran vessel they encountered. They dusted off the medals and the rest was going to be history.

Military weren’t the only ones to blame. The government believed the evidence, even though it was laughably thin. People who pointed this out were ignored. Businesses believed that Earth’s economy needed a war, and this was ideal. It gave a nice hole to throw buckets of money into, and would unify humanity against a common enemy rather than dividing it.

Here’s hoping that all our future forever wars are only a creation of science fiction.