Sorry is a Sacrament

One of the year’s pleasant surprises for New England baseball fans everywhere was the Boston Red Sox winning of the 2021 American League East Division Series. It was supposed to be a rebuilding year for the home team and none of the baseball experts predicted them to be in a position to compete for a playoff spot this season.

The 2021 Red Sox team was a scrappy and likable bunch of players, fighting until the last out and often coming from behind to win games. They were underdogs all year but managed to squeak into a wildcard playoff position; where they then proceeded to defeat their arch-rival New York Yankees, and odds-on favorites Tampa Bay Rays – before finally losing in the championship series to the Houston Astros.

A lot of the credit for the team’s successful season was given to their young manager, Alex Cora. Alex had previously coached the Red Sox and was praised for leading the team to the World Series Championship in 2018. He was suspended by Major League Baseball for the entire 2020 season, however, when it was discovered that he participated in a scheme to steal the opposing team’s pitching signals back in 2017 when he was working as a bench coach for the Houston Astros.

Trying to steal your opponents signs is a tradition as old as baseball because it can give batters a significant advantage when they know which type of pitch is coming (Fastball, Curveball, Sinker, Breaking Ball, Splitter, etc.). Stealing signs is not against the rules as long as the players manage to decipher the signals using personnel that are on the field.

The most common way teams try to steal signs is for a runner on base to peek in and study the hand signals the catcher sends to his pitcher prior to every pitch and then relay the sign to his teammate standing in the batting box. If a team does not disguise their signals effectively or change them up occasionally, then the opposing team is usually able to decode them.

What made the sign-stealing scheme devised by the Houston Astros and Alex Cora against the rules is that their efforts made use of on-field technology. They used a dedicated camera in the center field stands of their home stadium that was focused directly on the opposing team’s catcher. The video was sent to a monitor near the Houston dugout where Houston players could examine it and quickly decode the signs being sent to the pitcher. Various methods were then used to communicate the decoded pitch signs to the batter, including hand signals, whistling and banging on a trash can. Alex Cora even received the stolen sign information on the smartwatch he was wearing.

Condemnation was swift when the scheme was first revealed to the public in 2019 by a traded Houston pitcher. The whole Houston Astros team was immediately branded as cheaters and the World Series championship Houston won in 2017 came to be seen as illegitimate, tarnished forever by the cheating scandal. Major League Baseball conducted a retroactive investigation in 2019 and punished all the managers it found participated in the scheme with a one year suspension.

This included Alex Cora, who had moved on to manager of the Boston Red Sox and led them to the 2018 World Series Championship. Cora paid a high price for his decision to participate in the cheating scheme. The once proud man lost his job, his sterling reputation, his dignity, and the respect of his friends, family and colleagues. He spent a year exiled away from the game he loved while he watched the media attack his character and his young children suffer because of his sullied reputation.

Despite the harsh judgement, Cora never complained. He sincerely apologized for his actions, admitted his fault in the sign stealing scheme, acknowledged that what he did was unfair to the teams they played against and accepted his punishment as well deserved. It was clear he truly felt remorse for his role in the whole affair.

I found myself becoming emotional while watching Alex Cora lovingly embrace his young 14 year old daughter Camilla in the immediate aftermath of the Red Sox victory over the Rays in the Division Series. A postgame reporter asked Alex what that moment meant to him after serving a year of suspension. Here is the video clip of that special moment courtesy of the MLB Network (along with a transcript of his remarks about his family):

“I’m happy for my family. I put them in such a tough spot last year and for them to be able to enjoy it is very gratifying, I’m very very happy for them. She [Camilla] suffered a lot and it was my fault, and sometimes we make bad decisions, and I made a horrible decision in baseball and I paid the price. But what really hurt me was for them to suffer because of my mistakes. And for her to enjoy this is very gratifying.

Alex Cora, Postgame interview, 2021 ALDS

So many people today are afraid to say they are sorry or admit they have done something wrong. They view apologizing as a sign of weakness and surrender; therefore their egos prevent them from owning up to their mistakes or attempting to repair and heal the hurt they have caused.

Still other people never develop the moral compass or sense of compassion and empathy that is necessary to understand how their actions negatively affect others. They feel entitled, believing that the world revolves around them – and they are so used to thinking about themselves that they have no capacity to think about anyone else.

That is why it was so refreshing to watch how Alex Cora handled the fall out from the cheating scandal. Here was a rare example of an authentic apology, one where Alex confessed remorse for his mistake, admitted that it was wrong, fully cooperated with the investigators, accepted his punishment and attempted to make amends with those who were most hurt.

I can’t help but contrast Alex Cora’s apology with one recently made by the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, Aaron Rodgers. Aaron was widely criticized when it was discovered that he lied to reporters at a press conference when he told them he had been fully “immunized” against the COVID-19 virus. The truth that he had never received a vaccination was only revealed after he became infected with COVID and was forced to go into NFL quarantine protocols.

Rather than apologizing for lying to reporters and his failure to follow mandated COVID-19 safety protocols, Rodgers first tried to explain that when he said he was immunized he meant he had taken some (ineffective) home treatment and he didn’t actually say that he was vaccinated. He inferred that the reporters were to blame because they assumed immunized meant vaccinated.

When that explanation was roundly ridiculed, Rogers tried again by issuing a statement saying that some people might have felt misled by his comments and that he takes full responsibility for the misleading comments.

Notice in this example of a fake apology Rogers never says he is sorry for putting people at risk and he never says he regrets what he did. He apologizes only to those who “felt misled,” as if it was just their feeling, and not his own actions, that were to blame. The reality is that people felt misled because Rodgers misled them.

Rodgers elaborated further, explaining that he believed strongly in body autonomy and that he wasn’t up-front with people because he didn’t want to acquiesce to a “woke culture” or a “crazed group of individuals” who harass those who choose not to get vaccinated. With this explanation, Rodgers again shifts the blame for his wrongdoing. It is not his fault that he lied and exposed others to potential risk, – it is the fault of a group of crazy people and the toxic culture.

After this explanation was also criticized, Aaron Rodgers just refused to talk anymore about the subject. This was probably his wisest decision since bad apologies that blame the victims usually make things worse than saying nothing at all.

Looking in someone’s eyes and offering a sincere apology is not easy. Many people, like Aaron Rodgers, attempt to get by with with fake apologies which seek to avoid responsibility by making excuses, shifting blame, downplaying what was done, invalidating the hurt person, or trying to move on prematurely.

By contrast, Psychologists say that authentic apologies have most or all of the following elements:

• It is freely offered without conditions or minimizing of what was done
• It conveys that the person apologizing understands and cares about the hurt person’s experience and feelings
• It conveys remorse
• It offers a commitment to avoid repeating the hurtful behavior
• It offers to make amends or provide restitution if appropriate

During my lifetime I have given more than my share of ineffective apologies, but it is a life skill that I’m still working to improve because it is impossible for any of us to go through life without hurting someone. As Bob Dylan once sang: “I hurt easy, I just don’t show it; you can hurt someone and not even know it“. We are all human and in the daily course of our existence, no matter how hard we try, there are going to be moments ahead when we are guilty of hurting people. During those moments of our life, we should try, like Alex Cora, to put aside our egos and summon the humility and dignity that is required to repair the damaged relationship and make it stronger.

A good apology is like an offering or a gift that has a supernatural power to heal. The Catholic faith believes that admitting to our faults and seeking reconciliation with God and our neighbors is so important that they have established it as one of the Church’s seven sacred sacraments. The practice of Confession and forgiveness are referred to as a healing sacrament, one in which a spiritual power is believed to be transmitted through channels of divine grace.

During this season of thanks giving and gift giving, may you too come to experience the holy and redemptive power of the Sacrament of Sorry that is just waiting for all of us who seek it out sincerely.

Memorable and Admirable

In an attempt to make more meaningful the days I have left, I have started a practice that I call Memorable & Admirable. It is a pretty simple practice; when I turn in for the evening, I lie in bed and think back over my day and I ask myself two questions:

• Did I do anything today that was memorable?
• Did I do anything today that was admirable?

On a good day I can usually single out one or two events that happened during the course of my day that I considered to be memorable and/or admirable.

But on many nights I do struggle to identify even a single memorable or admirable event that occurred during the course of my day. On those nights, I regret the day’s lost opportunities and find myself making resolutions to do a better job tomorrow.

All of us live with unforgettable memories; our first kiss, our graduation from college, our first job, our wedding day, the birth of our first child and grandchild. Those once-in-a-lifetime events have a powerful emotional impact on us because they enrich our life, bond us to others and help to define who we are.

Those big moments occur so rarely that they become burned into our memories. Research shows that most older people, when they look back on their lives, recall most of their big memories happening between the ages of 15 and 30 – a very narrow window that comprises less than 20% of the average lifespan. 

Is it because our memory is sharper when we are younger? No. It’s because most of us settle into a routine by our 30’s and life begins to lose its zest. I am typical I suppose, being in my 60’s, and finding it difficult to recall many memorable life events that occurred in my late 30’s.

It is easy to get trapped into a routine where habit begins to take over our lives. One day follows another, one month rolls into the next, we get lazy following comfortable patterns – and then before you know it, the calendar rolls over to a new year and we find ourselves wondering where the time went. The months and years begin to blur together because nothing new and shiny happens in our life.

I have learned that if you want to slow down time, you have to work at creating memories – you cannot leave it to chance. Chip Heath, a professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business, and co-author of the book The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact provides suggestions on how people can inject novelty into their life and create experiences that become both memorable and meaningful.

Stimulate the Senses

Engaging our senses can make moments stand out more intensely. This is why concerts, museums and great meals stick in our memories and why sitting on the couch is so forgettable.

I remember, as if it was yesterday, standing 5 feet from the stage watching Bob Dylan play the piano and sing his Gospel song “Pressing On” in a small Worcester Auditorium when I was just 21 years old; and 36 years later listening to the wall of inspired sound created by Neil Young & Crazy Horse as they rocked a packed Boston concert audience.

I also have lasting memories from my youth of tasting fresh rhubarb, carrots and tomatoes right out of the garden; and when I was much older, of eating scorpions, chicken feet, drunken prawns, pepper crab and Schweinsbraten during my frequent international business trips.

When our bodies are stimulated by our faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste, or touch – our brains work overtime to record the experience.

Raise the Stakes

Memories are more readily made when we participate in activities where we have something to gain or lose. Competing in a sporting event is more exciting than watching one and betting on a sporting event makes watching it more entertaining.

I remember tension-filled Dart tournaments where my performance made the difference between my team winning or losing the league trophy; as well as pleasant days spent at the race track with my father, studying the racing program and being thrilled when the dog I picked won their race.

And of course, there are the trunk full of memories I have from the family’s annual pressure-packed Pitch tournaments – the winners of which are crowned the reigning Pitch King & Queen with their names enshrined on the tournament jersey entitling them to bragging rights throughout the year. Every year the family has fun reminiscing about the exploits of past card tournaments.

When the stakes are raised, people pay attention.

Break the Script

In order to get past the routine autopilot of our day to day lives, we have to do something that will break the script. When we do something different we defy expectations and surprise people.

Chip Heath, in his book, described how Southwest Airlines broke the script when they changed the wording of their flight safety announcement. One of the lines they added was:

If you should get to use the life vest in a real-life situation, the vest is yours to keep.

People loved it and it got the typically distracted passengers to break off whatever they were doing and listen more closely to the safety announcement. Southwest reported that those who heard the new messages actually flew more, resulting in an extra $140 million per year in revenue for the company.

Breaking the script can produce delightful moments.

One such delightful moment in my life occurred because I happened to invite my wife to go trout fishing with my Dad and I. We had been fishing buddies for more than 40 years and we had a well-worn routine consisting of which separate stretches of the river we would fish and what we would pack for lunch (usually peanut butter crackers and a beer).

We broke the script by adding my wife to the mix. Her addition encouraged us to all fish together and when it came time for lunch she surprised us with a gourmet picnic comprised of cheese and crackers, shrimp, lobster sandwiches and wine. I’ll never forget my Dad’s eyes twinkling with mirth and bemusement as we sat on the blanket sipping our wine next to the singing river.

Celebrate Milestones

The best way to commemorate achievements is to celebrate them – especially with the people you like most. Research shows that our accomplishments take on increased meaning when we take the time to appreciate what we’ve accomplished.

So do something to celebrate those birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions, retirements, etc. Don’t save the celebration for big events only.

Celebrating a silly milestones can be an effective way to “break the script” so that an event becomes even more memorable. My friend, who is a New York Yankees fan, used to have a 1918 party every year celebrating the last time the Boston Red Sox had won the World Series (fortunately he had to stop hosting that party in 2004).

For good measure, we can also set goals for ourselves that will lead to milestones we can celebrate at some point in the future. Doing that motivates us to achieve our goals and it leads to moments of pride that we will be able to celebrate in the future.

Overcoming Adversity

Why do armies put their recruits through high ordeal boot camp training and why do fraternities subject their pledges to harsh hazing? It is because struggling strengthens the bonds between people and experiencing adversity forms strong memory attachments in the brain.

I have vivid memories of all the crazy and senseless things I was asked to do when I pledged my college fraternity more than 42 years ago, but I have kept in contact with my fraternity “brothers” throughout all those years and we have fun reminiscing fondly about those youthful days.

For many years I was a volunteer member of a prison ministry team. We would spend exhausting 3-Day weekends conducting spiritual retreats inside Massachusetts, New York and New Hampshire State Prison facilities.

It was hard work and the preparation was very time consuming, but some of the most spiritual moments of my life came while witnessing the prisoners and my ministry teammates share their faith stories over the course of the retreat.

So adversity can be a blessing if you want to create lasting memories – especially if you go through it with somebody else. You will be surprised how often you will look back fondly on times that you worked to help others fulfill their dreams – even though it seemed like a chore at the time.

Build Moments of Connection

For most people, it’s relationships with the people we love that brings us the most happiness. Vacations, reunions and holidays are ideal times to create moments of connection that will deepen our relationships with others.

To celebrate my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary in 2008 my siblings rented a beautiful Lake House and the whole family spent the week celebrating the love my parents had for each other and the loving sacrifices they made to raise 8 children.

Each of their children read a heartfelt letter honoring them and thanking them for all the happy memories and life lessons we learned from them while growing up.

The week spent together was magical; filled with fishing, peaceful boat rides, lobster and clam bakes, competitive kickball and card games, marriage renewal vows and joyous dancing. We formed a deep connection with one another during that week and it resulted in a lifetime of memories.

Moments of connection can be built on a large scale, like that Anniversary party or on a much smaller, but still meaningful scale. One such meaningful connection for me was when my teenage daughter was given a school assignment to bake a loaf of bread.

I was happy when she asked me to assist her with the project because it gave me an opportunity to spend meaningful time with her and to bond doing something together (plus I learned how to bake bread!).

Finally, you can build connections with others even if you don’t really know them. My wife, who works for a Hospice agency, told me about the time Bill Atkinson, a member of the NH Police Association Pipes and Drums and a Captain with Nashua Fire Rescue, came to the Community Hospice House and stood outside the facility playing a bagpipe concert for the patients and staff. The music could be heard from all four corners of the house – and you can bet that the staff and those residents facing life’s end were bonded in a holy moment of spiritual connection.

Admirable moments can also be memorable moments but not necessarily – and I think that is how it should be in most cases. We should do admirable things because it helps to make the world a better place – not because we are trying to create memories.

When I take inventory of my day, asking myself if I did anything that was admirable, my mind searches for moments when I went out of my way to do something that was unselfish, considered someone else’s needs rather than my own or made sacrifices to better myself or others.

Participating in these moments of introspection has led me to wonder about which character traits society as a whole should consider admirable. The ones that come most often to my mind are:

• Honesty & Integrity – Try my best to be honest with myself and others. Be true to my word. Take ownership of my faults and failings.
• Humility & Modesty –  Remember that life is fragile and my time on earth is brief. In the vast scheme of things I am just a simple, insignificant person. Don’t brag about my accomplishments – act more, talk less.
• Compassion – Imagine yourself in the other’s person’s shoes. Treat others the way you would like yourself to be treated.
• Discipline & Hard Work – Good things come to those who are disciplined and willing to work hard. Fight the urge for instant gratification by pursuing long term satisfaction.
• Courage – When we face trouble and problems in our life, it is natural to look for an easy way out. A person with courage tackles adversity head-on, not shrinking from the hard road, no matter where it leads.
• Leadership – It takes a special person to stand up and give direction to others. 
• Humor – Don’t take life too seriously – try to laugh at yourself and the things around you once in a while.

Each of us may have a different list of qualities that we consider admirable, that is OK and that is what contributes to making different people so interesting. The point is that it is important for all of us to subscribe to a set of admirable ethics and to look for opportunities to practice them every day.

So good luck creating memories and practicing admirable acts in your life. I hope you will find that you also benefit from the happy side-effect I started experiencing when I began concentrating on my days memorable and admirable events at bedtime: Peaceful Dreams!

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

Benjamin Franklin was born in Boston in 1705, the eighth of his parent’s ten children. Being one of the youngest in the household Ben had to learn important skills on how to get along with others – developing a quick wit that he used to help him defuse confrontations throughout his life.

Apprenticed by his father to his 21 year old brother for a term of 9 years when he was only 12, Ben learned the trade quickly, eventually surpassing the skills of his older brother. To escape from his indentured servitude contract Franklin ran away to Philadelphia when he was only 17 years old.

In Philadelphia Franklin was able to find steady work at a Printing shop. His work ethic earned the admiration of the Provincial Governor who encouraged him to start his own shop – even shipping him off to Britain with capital so he could purchase his own Printing equipment.

At the tender age of 20, Franklin sailed back to America using the 2 month sailing time as an opportunity to examine his life up until that point and formulating a plan of conduct to follow for the remainder of his life.

In his journal written during that voyage he chided himself for the irregularity of his past actions and vowed to prevent his life from becoming wasted on a confused variety of different scenes.

With that in mind he set about making certain resolutions to himself and putting in place a plan of action so that henceforth I may live in all respects like a rational creature. Franklin further identified in his journal, the thirteen virtues that he felt, when practiced, would reinforce those resolutions.

Benjamin Franklin’s Resolutions

1. It is necessary for me to be extremely frugal until such a time as I have paid off what I owe.
2. To endeavor to speak truth in every instance, to give nobody expectations that are not likely to be answered, but aim for sincerity in every word and action.
3. To apply myself industriously to whatever business I take in hand, and not divert my mind from my business by any foolish projects of growing suddenly rich; for industry and patience are the surest means of plenty.
4. I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the fault I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody.

Benjamin Franklin’s Virtues

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself, avoid trifling conversation
3. Order: Let all things have their place; let each part of your business have it’s time
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing
6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit, think innocently and justly
8. Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the things that are your duty
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes, avoid resenting injuries as much as you think they deserve
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation
11. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable
12. Chastity: Rarely practice sexual indulgence except for health or offspring; never to dullness, weakness or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Franklin’s original list of virtues stopped at 12, but he added the 13th item after one of his Quaker friends mentioned to him that his neighbors thought he exhibited too much pride.

With those resolutions and virtues in hand, Franklin began a program to integrate them into his daily life. He devised a chart based on a thirteen week rotation where each week he focused on mastering one of the virtues. He kept a scorecard at the end of each day to keep track of his success at making the virtues a habit.

Franklin eventually abandoned the exercise when he discovered that virtues are not so simply acquired. Still, he was proud of his plan of personal conduct and for making it the basis for his life’s conduct. In later years he judged that the mere attempt had made him a better and happier man than he would have been otherwise.

While reading about Franklin’s uncommon life in the book The First American: The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin by the historian H.W. Brands, I was astonished at the seriousness and resolution of mind exhibited by the 20 year old Ben Franklin.

Most 20 year old men and woman today are not busy formulating a plan of action for the conduct of their life or thinking about which virtues they ought to be practicing in order to achieve success in life.

I would guess that most 20 year old Americans today are more busy playing video games, binge watching television shows, obsessing over their social media presence or searching for ways to acquire the materialistic trappings of success without having to work too hard for them.

I know that at that age, I was thinking more about selfish pursuits like fraternity parties, girls and sports than I was thinking about the irregularity of my actions or my failure to live like a rational creature.

What is even more astonishing than Franklin’s display of maturity and seriousness of mind at such a young age is the incredible accomplishments he achieved throughout his life by following the principles behind those early resolutions and by being true to his virtues.

Courtesy of the Franklin Institute

One glance at the list of Benjamin Franklin’s accomplishments will make you wonder how it is possible for a single person to achieve so much, in so many different fields, in the short span of one human lifetime.

Benjamin Franklin’s Accomplishments

• Established the leading Printer business in the Colony of Pennsylvania eventually expanding his business to a second shop in South Carolina. Being the most successful printer in the Colonies he was essentially the Google of his day – owning a monopoly on the thoughts and opinions that got disseminated every day.
• Published the Philadelphia Gazette which became the most popular newspaper in the Province. He wrote most of the Opinion pieces using an alias and published the 1st political cartoon.
• Advocated for paper currency and became the Colony’s approved currency printer – designing a pattern that could not be counterfeited.
• Created Poor Richard’s Almanac – a popular yearly publication that charted the phases of the moon, weather, timing of the tides, farming information, calendar events, recipes, cures, and psychological advice. Franklin’s alter ego, Poor Richard, dispensed pearls of wisdom throughout the Almanac that quickly became staples of the American lexicon. Phrases like “Great talkers, Little doers“, “Hunger never saw bad bread“, “If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend“, “There are no gains without pains” and “If you make yourself a sheep, the wolves will eat you“.
• Recruited a club of inquirers considered to have the best minds in the city and called them the “Junto”. The club met weekly to discuss moral, political, philosophical, literary and scientific matters. Franklin encouraged the club to focus on topics which would contribute most to the benefit of mankind and expanded on this concept when he became a founding member of the American Philosophical Society.
• Founded the country’s first Public Library at age 27.
• Following his philosophy that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure“, he formed a volunteer collection of active men who were committed to combating fires. This group became the Union Fire Company, the first volunteer firefighters in America. To spare homeowners from the financial ruin of a fire he proposed the idea of Fire Insurance policies.
• Writing that “you can undertake nothing that will be more advantageous to your children, nor more acceptable to our country“, Franklin offered a plan to educate the children of Philadelphia free from the extraordinary expense and hazard of sending them away to private school. In effect, he became the first organizer of public schools as well as a primary founder of the University of Pennsylvania
• Invented an improved wood stove that kept houses significantly warmer and less sooty while requiring less than a quarter of the firewood of existing fireplaces. The Franklin stove quickly spread throughout the world because Franklin declined to patent it, letting anyone borrow its design and improve on it. He reasoned that he had profited from other people’s inventions, why should not others benefit from his.
• Appointed postmaster of Philadelphia by the British Crown Post in 1737, a post he held for 16 years. His effective measures led to the first profits for the colonial post office. In 1775, when the Second Continental Congress established the United States Post Office, Franklin was made the first Postmaster General due to his experience in the field.
• He was at the forefront in the field of the early studies of electricity. He performed experiments and wrote papers that described how electricity behaved and he invented an electric battery and a primitive electric motor. His work was honored by the world engineering societies and he was given the title of Doctor.
• Proved that lightning was associated with electricity. Franklin helped tame lightning by inventing the lightning rod which protected countless buildings from being struck and possibly destroyed by fire.
• The first to theorize that chronic exposure to lead was toxic. He suggested replacing lead coils used in distilleries with copper coils instead.
• Franklin suffered from poor eyesight as he aged which led him to invent bifocals, dual lens eyeglasses with the upper lens used for distance and the lower lens for reading.
• He was an early and ardent advocate of the health benefits of vigorous exercise and one of the first to recognize that Colds are not caused from being exposed to cold temperatures but rather by being exposed to one another’s respiration.
• Performed experiments underlying the principle of refrigeration. Noticing how evaporation of liquid can absorb heat, he theorized this was how trees cooled themselves and mitigated the effects of summer temperatures.
• Conjectured that earth’s core was fluid in nature and that the mountains and land masses were floating upon this fluid.
• Performed experiments during his many sailing trips, discovering that the Gulf stream was actually a river of warm water flowing over the colder body of the ocean.
• Recommended the building of double-hulled ships to reduce the chance of vessels sinking when they were in an accident.
• Presciently hit on a fundamental law of nature, the conservation of mass-energy, writing that we cannot destroy the energy confined in a piece of wood that is burned in a fire – we can only separate it from that which confines it and so set it at liberty.
• Invented a Rolling Press that could copy a letter in under two minutes.
• Invented swim fins, the musical instrument glass armonica, a flexible urinary catheter, his own version of the odometer, and the long arm – which he used to reach books in high shelves of his library.
• Even though he kept two slaves, Franklin viewed the institution of slavery as incompatible with justice and humanity. He became one of the first distinguished men in the country calling for the abolition of slavery – writing that the introduction of slaves could only diminish a nation.
• Franklin was an early British Loyalist and wanted America to avoid war with its Mother country, but he gradually came to believe in the cause of American Independence writing that “We are fighting for the dignity and happiness of human nature” .
• He served prominent Ambassadorial posts in Britain and France, representing the face of America to the European Continent throughout his career.
• During the American Revolution, Franklin played a pivotal role in convincing the French government to join the American cause and persuading them to provide crucial loans and naval assistance – which George Washington skillfully used to defeat the British.
• Contributed to and signed all the founding documents of the United States; including the Declaration of Independence, the Treaty of Paris, and the Constitution.
• At his death, he established the Franklin fund, a trust to benefit the two cities he loved, Boston and Philadelphia. The fund is still solvent today and continues to contribute to worthy causes.

Most people would consider their life successful if they had achieved just one of Benjamin Franklin’s long list of accomplishments. It is hard to think of any other American in the history of the country who has had comparable ambition and talent to pursue so many interests.

Benjamin Franklin was one who came as close as any to realizing the full potential of the human spirit, a one-of-a kind talent who had a significant and profound influence in the early development of his nation.

H.W Brand labels Franklin The First American because he believes that Franklin was the most important American who ever lived because more than any other person, he was responsible for defining the American way of life and he considers Franklin’s combined contributions to his country over the course of his lifetime greater than any other American citizen.

While reading about the life of Benjamin Franklin, I couldn’t help but wonder how many of his accomplishments had their roots in that original Plan of Conduct he devised at the tender age of 20. It seems like his prolific productivity and success would not have been possible unless he remained true to those early resolutions and virtues throughout his life.

It makes me wonder how much more productive I could have been with my life if I had diligently followed a similar plan of conduct. What good has remained undone in the world because, unlike Franklin, I have not spent my life in always being employed in something useful?

It is of some solace to me that many of Franklin’s most important contributions came in his old age. It gives me hope, as I am about to embark on my seventh decade of life, that it is still not too late for me to live more deliberately and strive with my remaining time to be someone who, as Franklin put it – either writes something worth reading or does something worth writing.

Benjamin Franklin died April 17, 1790; three months after his eighty-fourth birthday. It was estimated that half the population of Philadelphia turned out to mourn at his funeral. Messages of sympathy and respect poured in from dignitaries around the world honoring Franklin because he sought knowledge not just for his own sake but for all of humanity’s.

It seems fitting to close this blog with the epitaph that Benjamin Franklin drafted for his tombstone when he was only 22 years old. Wherever his Spirit happens to be, it is inspiring to believe that it is still living on somewhere in a new and more perfect edition.

The body of B. Franklin, Printer; Like the cover of an old book, It’s contents torn out, And stript of its Lettering and Gilding, Lies here, Food for worms. But the work shall not be wholly lost, For it will, as he believed, appear once more, In a new & more perfect Edition, Corrected and amended by the author.

Epitaph authored by Benjamin Franklin

“There’s a way to do it better – find it”

I mentioned in a previous blog about the serendipity of finding interesting or compelling books at the book swap shed of my little town’s Transfer Station. I recently finished reading a book that I happened to find there called The Grace of Great Things – Creativity and Innovation.

The author, Robert Grudin, a former professor of English at the University of Oregon, described the book as a study in creativity and innovation. The title refers to the words a monk is said to have spoken to the young child Michel Colombe (before he became a famous sculptor) as the monk observed the child forgetting to eat because carving things in wood seemed more important to him:

“Work, little one, look all you can, the steeple of St. Paul and the beautiful work of the Compagnons. Look, love God, and the grace of great things will be given to you.”

Even though I do not consider myself a particularly creative person, especially in the area of the arts, the study of creativity holds some interest for me because I have had a tendency throughout my personal and professional life to seek out innovative solutions to problems I encounter. My training in engineering and the sciences taught me to step back and look at a problem from all perspectives – and to devise solutions that are not always obvious or biased by traditional thinking.

Of all the kinds of joy in this life, none perhaps is as pure as the kind experienced when sudden insight leads to the discovery of an elegant solution to a vexing problem. I have felt this satisfaction often in my professional life while creating software applications to solve our customer’s problems and while patenting new test methods that made finding electrical defects on Electronic Printed Circuit Boards faster and safer.

The word inspiration originally meant a breath of divinity, and it seems appropriate that it is used to describe that moment when a creative solution flashes into your consciousness. To be inspired feels like a divine event – something that seems to come from beyond as the mind surrenders to a force outside its control.

Gruden’s study documented the characteristics and particular habits that creative people share and that lead to original thinking and bold ideas. Those looking to become more inventive should practice the following mental habits and attitudes that Gruden writes are most congenial to inspiration:

Passion for Work – People are often advised to find a job that they love and it appears that those who do are usually the most creative. Creativity blossoms when you fully identify with your work and see it as an expression of your character.

People who love their job, derive pleasure from it and like the border collie are happiest when they are working and have a job to do. Their passion for work inhabits the full volume of their mind and persists during leisure hours and even during their sleep. In the creative life there is no distinction between leisure and work. Creative people belong to their work, and their commitment is rewarded with unexpected discovery.

Love of the Problematic – People who spend their lives ignoring and denying problems rarely become inspired. Conversely, the minds of creative people instinctively love tackling problems and discovering solutions. Creative people are sometimes seen as troublemakers because they upset the status quo by exposing problems that have been ignored.

Thomas Edison would instruct his engineers to observe closely and pay attention to things that did not totally fit. When he saw the slightest flaws with a proposed solution he would send them back to the drawing board with the instructions “there is a better way – find it“.

Love of Beauty – Moments of creativity, when inspiration leads to the discovery of an elegant solution to a problem one has worked on so passionately are rare.

Innovative people see great beauty in these moments when they come and they strive to capture the same feeling of beauty in all the other areas of their life.

A Sense of Wholeness – Creative people are good at looking at the big picture. When examining a problem, they are able to deconstruct the individual elements that form an object and see how the various parts are interconnected.

This quality opens up perspectives that allow them to visualize the true identity of a problem and it encourages their minds to explore new thought patterns and see potential discontinuities and anomalies that others don’t.

Boldness and a Sense of Openness – A willingness to follow good ideas despite their forbidding strangeness takes courage. Creative people do not fear ideas and are willing to ignore prior assumptions and walk on the edge of chaos; opening themselves to bold new ideas even at the risk of looking ridiculous.

Innocence and Playfulness – Inventive people have a way of looking at each new project as a blank slate – unbiased by tradition and what has come before. They are like inquisitive babies trying to make sense of an item without known purpose or use.

They do not put limits on solutions (like people whose only tool is a hammer want to define define all problems as a nail) and they are happy to travel down unexpected paths (like a cook who turns a failed mousse into a successful chocolate topping).

Suffering – It is not obvious, but inspiration is related to suffering. Creative people often have to suffer through failure of experiments, the refutation of hypotheses, the trashing of one’s own findings, dead-ends, disapproval and rejection.

Even the process of achieving professional credentials is usually full of pain (endless study, practice, humiliation by teachers, competition with peers, the sting of criticism and the fear of inadequacy). Inspiration is impossible without groaning effort, without the painful winning of skill, and hard-earned expertise.

Pain has always functioned as a stimulus to material progress. It was fear pain, and grief that helped drive the great medical and social advances that exponentially increased the length of the human lifetime.

Individuals who spend their lives in the persistent avoidance of pain are not likely to amount to much. When pain and suffering is duly faced and endured, like exercise, it builds the endurance and humility that make us amenable to inspiration.

Remembrance – Many noted revolutionaries and innovators claim that their ideas were not new. They explain that they were simply maintaining continuity with the past and restoring old ideas that had been corrupted or forgotten.

Creative people utilize their remembrance of the past to invent new applications that incorporate old ideas – they are adept at rediscovering something that was always true and adapting it to a new application.

Liberty – The essence of inventiveness lies in recognizing that the world is capable of innumerable configurations. Those who have lived long and paid attention know not only that things can change – but also that it is a law of nature that they must change.

Successful people anticipate how things are changing or will change in the future and work within a system that gives them the freedom and liberty to advocate solutions that will best meet those changing needs.

People living in autocratic and rigid systems of governance do not advance as fast as those living in a free and democratic system because the barriers those societies set in place do not empower their citizens to pursue their ideas to their full potential.

When looked at together, these identified habits and attitudes map out an environment that makes the mind fertile for creativity and the growth of inspiration – planting a virtual garden for the inquiring mind to wander. For most people, visits to this garden are rare, only occurring by chance and surprise.

That is the case for me. I recognize in myself many of the qualities and characteristics that Gruden associates with creative people and I have been fortunate to experience the thrill and satisfaction that comes from discovering innovative test methods and software applications during my long work career.

But those were high points in a career that also included plenty of low points, times when the enemies of discovery (depression, complacency and laziness) took root in me. Those were unproductive times in my life because people who are lazy or just trying to get by seldom make important contributions.

I am finding that just because I am retired now doesn’t mean I need to stop striving to be creative. The habits of creative people identified by Gruden are not limited to the workplace. I find these same habits of creativity can be applied while I am fishing, while I am working on household projects, while I am coding fun software programs for my grandsons to play and even while performing my volunteering activities teaching children and serving on the school board.

It is important to mention, amidst all this praise about the delights of inspiration, that creativity does not always confine itself to happy subjects or result in happy outcomes. History, unfortunately, is filled with examples of tragic visions and genius put to use in the service of malice. Knowing that creativity can be put to dangerous applications gives us an obligation to always be on the lookout for it and to speak out against it when we see it employed in harmful ways.

In the end though I believe there is a major connection between ethics and creativity. The great majority of inventions and innovations throughout the ages have been driven by a desire to make the world a better place. That 15th century monk was on to something profoundly relevant when he linked the word grace, and the pattern of moral strengths that it suggests, as the foundation of major creative achievement.

May you practice the habits of creative thinking to free your mind and to make your life and our world a better place… so that the grace of great things will be given to you too.

“The harder the life, the finer the person”

Wilfred Thesinger was a British explorer, photographer and travel writer who wrote several books in the 1950’s and 60’s about his experience living with the desert peoples of Arabia. He was once interviewed by the famous naturalist David Attenborough, who asked him if he thought the hardship and suffering of the desert peoples instilled in them a sense of nobility.

Thesiger responded:

“I think the harder the life, the finer the person, yes, and I certainly felt this way about the Bedu [desert peoples]. When I went there, I felt that the difficulty was going to be living up physically to the hardships of their life. But, on the contrary, it was the difficulty of meeting their high standards: their generosity, their patience, their loyalty, their courage and all these things. And they had a quality of nobility. In the desert I found a freedom unattainable in civilization; a life unhampered by possessions’…. I shall always remember how I was humbled by those illiterate herdsmen who possessed, in so much greater measure than I, generosity and courage, endurance, patience and lighthearted gallantry.”

Salim bin Ghabaisha, seated on a camel

Thesinger’s observation is something that I too have noticed during my life’s interactions with other people. In general, it seems that those who come from humble beginnings and who suffer hardships while growing up, have the personal qualities that I have come to admire most – qualities of self-reliance, resilience, gratitude, empathy and humility.

My mother’s parents were poor immigrant farmers who moved from Canada to the United States in the early 1900’s. She was the seventh of eight children and she had to quit school after the 8th grade so that she could help out with the farm work. I remember her telling stories about hard times when her Mother would not eat because there wasn’t enough food to go around and how they would dig through the winter snow under the Apple trees to see if there might be some frozen apples left on the ground that they could eat.

Yet my mother became a remarkable woman with a big heart that was full of life, love, and intelligence. I often wonder how far she would have gone and how different her life would have been if she were allowed to finish her education and capitalize on all her gifts. Like her mother, she too raised a family of eight children, experiencing hardship at times without complaint; instead thanking God every day for a loving husband, healthy children, food on the table and a roof over their heads.

I consider it a blessing that I came from this large lower middle-class family. My father had to work two jobs at times to make ends meet and so my mother could stay home with the kids. I worked from the time I was 10 in various part time jobs and learned from an early age the value of a work ethic and delayed gratification. I was content with the used clothes and toys that were handed down to me by my brothers and sisters.

I have the sense that children of privilege often grow up with qualities that are less admirable – qualities like arrogance, self-importance, selfishness, pride and feelings of entitlement. It must be a particularly difficult task for powerful and wealthy parents to raise happy and well-adjusted children and I give credit to wealthy parents like Bill and Melinda Gates, who came from humble beginnings, made it on their own, and have decided to leave their considerable fortune to their charitable foundation rather than their children.

Even though my upbringing was poor in material things, it was rich with love and affection. My parents treated each of their children with dignity and respect. Some children are not so fortunate and are raised under conditions where they are not loved, respected or treated with dignity. Instead they are treated like property whose lives the parents or caretakers can control and abuse as they see fit. Being raised under these conditions must be very difficult and I wonder how it is possible to overcome that type of hardship and turn into a fine person.

Many do not overcome it – but a remarkable few somehow find a way to use their negative childhood experiences as a catalyst for building a positive new life. There are precious people in my life who were physically and verbally abused as children and were raised in a controlling environment that did not nourish their individuality or self-esteem. Yet somehow, through the grace of God, they escaped their family dysfunction and developed into generous, loving, supportive, and kind people.

When I ask them how they managed such a miraculous feat they tell me about a grandmother; or an aunt; or a sibling; or a teacher that was a light to them in the darkness of their life and who threw them a lifeline at those times when they needed it most. These good people helped them to understand that they could be better than their parents and instilled in them the determination to succeed despite their difficult childhood.

Reflecting on this makes me realize that each of us has opportunities in our life to be a beacon of light to someone going through hard times and we ought to be on the lookout for those going through hardship that need us to throw them a lifeline. If we all did that who knows how many more children could overcome their broken families and go on to lead successful lives.

So, if you have had a hard life, be grateful – that probably means you are a fine person. And if you have led a life of privilege, try to use whatever power and influence you have collected to make life a little better for those that are less fortunate. You just might, like Wilfred Helsiger, discover a freedom that is unobtainable when life is focused only on the self and material possessions.

“Soft is Stronger than Hard”

Part of my job responsibilities as a product manager for a Technology company involved making periodic trips to different regions of the world to visit with electronics manufacturers who were using our test equipment in their factories. Whenever I traveled to Asia I was usually accompanied by our Asia Application and Customer Support manager. He was a Singapore native and one of the most remarkable people I ever met.

I used to marvel at his approach to life and the interactions he had with the diverse people he dealt with every day. He took a genuine personal interest in everybody he met and he seemed to remember all the details of their life – the name of their spouse, how many children they had, the date of their birthday. I don’t know how he did it, but it came naturally to him.

I experienced his generosity of spirit many times over the years. After a long flight to Asia he would usually meet me at my destination airport and personally arrange my transportation to the hotel. He would take me out to dinner at night and make a point of immersing me in the culture of the region, he would take me on sightseeing trips to show me the attractions of the area we were visiting (the Great Buddha statue of Hong Kong, the National Palace Museum in Taiwan, Merlion park in Singapore, the glittering beaches of Pattaya Thailand). During our time together he would inquire about my well being, my family and my life philosophy. Every year he would send me a note or some thoughtful gift to wish me a happy birthday.

I learned through our time spent together that he didn’t just do this for me – he seemed to do it for everyone that was part of his life – his family, his co-workers, the people that worked for him and the customers he supported. Because of his engaging personality he had one of the strongest circles of influence within the company. The application and support engineers that worked for him loved and respected  him and would expend herculean efforts to successfully complete projects that he assigned them. The sales administration personnel would go out of their way to do things to make his job easier. Customers chose our company over competitors simply on the strength of their relationship with him – they trusted him completely and were confident that if any issues came up, he would make sure that they were addressed.

Despite his powerful influence he was the image of humility in all his dealings, never taking credit for successful projects or sales wins – instead he downplayed his role giving credit to other individuals on his team. When things were not successful he would never assign blame – instead he would shield others from criticism and take personal responsibility for the failing outcome. His out-sized influence did not come from his job title or the company’s organizational structure but from his ability to get things done and the motivational effect he had on a talented team of individuals to get them to work at their maximum potential. He had what I refer to as “soft” power rather than “hard” power.

I mentioned this to him one day during one of our dinner conversations and he looked at me with one of his knowing smiles and he said “Soft is stronger than hard”. It made me smile because he would often interject short bits of Hindu and Buddhist wisdom scripture or eastern philosophical sayings into our conversations (like “Water is stronger than Rock” or “Cow is my Friend”) that seemed simple at first but had much deeper meanings. This came from his long practice of Taoism, an ancient eastern philosophy that focuses on living in harmony with all things and living a life of moderation and humility.

Yin-Yang Symbol: Harmony of Contrary Forces

I often think back to those sayings and reflect on the merits of his life philosophy, especially during those times when I encounter situations that are made worse by people trying to get their way by imposing their will through force, fear or guilt. Too often it seems to be the American way. So many people resort to hard tactics to accomplish their objectives when a soft touch would be much more effective.

I also find similarities between my Catholic faith and those of the eastern philosophical traditions. Christianity too teaches us to be humble, to die-to-self and to be compassionate and caring. Jesus was always merciful to those he encountered and he did not force anyone to follow him. Instead he said…

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Because forced love is not love – it is slavery; and work that is performed based on a sense of love and gratitude is never a burden. So, I try to keep my friend’s advice close to heart during my daily interactions with others and remember that nothing is so strong as gentleness.